Updated: June 2, 2020
Originally Published: Jan. 8, 2012
At 28, my partner and I felt ready to start our family. After three wonderful years of marriage and having just returned from a fantastic trip to France with friends, we were excited to begin this new chapter. I had completed my course of Accutane, an acne medication that required a six-month waiting period before conception due to its potential risks. Everything seemed aligned for us to welcome a baby into our lives.
However, the journey was far from smooth. A year passed with no success in getting pregnant. When I finally saw those two lines on the pregnancy test, joy washed over us. The worries that had plagued me faded away. Everything seemed to be on track—until just six weeks into the pregnancy, when I felt a sharp, agonizing pain in my abdomen while at the dog park with my pup. This was no ordinary first-trimester nausea; it felt like a knife was stabbing me.
Concerned, I sought medical advice. One doctor told me I needed to see my physician immediately, while another reassured me it was likely nothing serious. But the pain persisted. With my husband out of town, I made the drive to the doctor alone. After a vaginal ultrasound, I received the devastating news: I had an ectopic pregnancy. The embryo was stuck in my Fallopian tube, requiring a shot of chemotherapy to encourage its expulsion. At that moment, I was surprisingly optimistic; at least I knew I could conceive—even if it wasn’t going to be a viable pregnancy.
Unfortunately, the shot didn’t work, and surgery was my next step. The plan was to remove the ectopic embryo while preserving my Fallopian tube. However, when I woke up, the situation was more complicated than anticipated. My embryo had implanted on my bladder—an incredibly rare occurrence that left my doctor practically giddy. While I was disappointed, I held onto the hope that I could still conceive.
Determined, my partner and I quickly resumed trying for a baby. After a grueling year and a half of stress and anxiety, we were blessed with a beautiful daughter. However, two years later, I faced two heartbreaking miscarriages—one ended naturally at home, while the other required a D&C procedure.
Seeking answers, we consulted a fertility specialist who ran tests and ultimately diagnosed me with “Diminished Ovarian Reserve.” Essentially, my eggs were too old to conceive. The doctor suggested considering an egg donor or adoption. The costs were overwhelming: $20,000 for an egg donor and anywhere from $10,000 to $20,000 for adoption, depending on whether it was domestic or international.
In the midst of this, I received countless opinions and advice from well-meaning friends and family. One woman I spoke to shared the complexities of her own adoption journey, which felt daunting to me. While I support adoption wholeheartedly, I knew it wasn’t the path I wanted to take.
We sought a second opinion, and thankfully, the new fertility clinic offered some hope with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). This process involves fertilizing an egg and sperm outside the body, nurturing the embryos for a few days before implantation. I began the hormone injections and blood thinners, turning my abdomen into a canvas of bruises. My husband provided unwavering support, even if his contributions were somewhat less glamorous.
The first IVF cycle ended in disappointment; the emotional toll was heavy. I began to convince myself that perhaps our family of three was meant to stay that way. But we chose to try one last time. After a second cycle, I was ecstatic to learn that we had four viable embryos! Though the doctor suggested we only implant two to avoid complications, I opted to put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak. I wanted to maximize our chances of bringing home another baby.
Incredibly, three of those embryos took! During my six-week ultrasound, we discovered three little hearts beating on the screen. My first question was whether they would all make it, and the doctor reassured me they would. After seven years of trials—including the ectopic pregnancy, two miscarriages, and two IVF cycles—I now had four beautiful children.
This journey has been far from easy. Raising higher-order multiples can strain every aspect of life, from patience and emotions to finances and relationships. However, I’ve learned invaluable lessons along the way:
- Always seek a second opinion; it could change everything.
- Miscarriages are painful, but you must find a way to move forward.
- Trust your instincts—you know what feels right for your family.
Sometimes, taking a leap of faith and putting all your eggs in one basket can lead to the most rewarding outcomes. For those considering at-home options, check out this link for reputable syringe kits that may help you. If you’re curious about IVF and its processes, you can find excellent information here. And for more personal insights, you might find our post here interesting.
Summary:
Navigating the journey of pregnancy can be filled with unexpected twists, heartbreaks, and ultimately joy. After facing various challenges, including an ectopic pregnancy, two miscarriages, and IVF treatments, I learned the importance of trust, hope, and perseverance. Embracing the uncertainty of fertility led me to a family of four beautiful children, proving that sometimes, putting all your eggs in one basket is the best decision you can make.
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