Let me start by saying this is one of the most vulnerable and terrifying experiences I’ve ever shared. I hope that by opening up, I can support other parents who might be grappling with anxiety, depression, and overwhelming guilt. When accidents happen to children, it’s all too easy for people to point fingers at the parents. The hurtful comments come pouring in — phrases like, “They don’t deserve to be parents,” or “I hope their kids are taken away.” Such words can be incredibly damaging, adding to the pain of an already distressing situation, and they pale in comparison to the internal struggles a mother faces after a traumatic event.
Even now, nearly a year and a half after my own experience, I still find myself emotional when I think back to that day. The feelings of guilt are sometimes unbearable. When my daughter tests my patience, I am flooded with guilt, reminded of the “what-ifs” surrounding that incident.
Our youngest, Lily, accidentally swallowed a small button battery. While my partner and I were tidying up, I foolishly left a bag containing batteries on a bench for just a moment. I don’t even recall walking away or turning my back. But when I glanced over, I saw Lily on the floor, the bag in her hand, and I instinctively knew something was wrong. I checked the bag, and my worst fears were confirmed — one battery was missing.
Panic set in. Having read about the dangers of battery ingestion, I urgently told my partner we needed to get to the hospital. He didn’t grasp the gravity of the situation until he started looking things up online. I’ll never forget the look on his face, trying to remain calm while I was visibly shaking with fear.
I kept asking Lily, “Did you swallow a battery? Where is it?” But as any parent knows, getting a clear answer from a toddler is often impossible. She kept saying yes and no, not wanting to get in trouble. The car ride to the hospital felt like an eternity, my heart racing as I noticed her licking her lips and playing with her tongue. Each bubble of saliva sent me spiraling into deeper panic as I imagined the battery causing irreparable harm.
Once we arrived, she was quickly admitted for x-rays. I stayed in the waiting room, paralyzed by fear as my partner held her during the procedure. Time seemed to stand still until the doctor finally called me in. I found Lily on a hospital bed, scared but otherwise okay. The x-ray revealed that the battery had moved past her esophagus and into her stomach.
We were fortunate — the doctor reassured us that she would eventually pass it normally. The next day, she did, and she has been as healthy as ever. But this incident triggered a wave of severe depression and anxiety for me. I found it hard to get out of bed, cried daily, and if I hadn’t been pregnant, I often wondered if I would have made it through those dark days. I felt like I had let my family down, and the guilt was suffocating.
Eventually, I found the courage to seek help. My first doctor dismissed me, sending me off with a referral without really listening. Thankfully, my midwife recommended a counselor who could come to my home, but I had to see another doctor to get that referral. The second doctor was incredible — he spent over an hour with me, discussing mental health and reassuring me that asking for help doesn’t mean I’m a failure. With time and regular visits from my counselor, I had the support I needed, and slowly, I began to rise from the depths of my depression.
Going through this experience taught me that mom guilt is all too real, and no parent should face their struggles alone. We need compassion and support, not judgment. If you’re experiencing similar feelings, remember that bottling them up will only intensify the pain. Today, I am grateful for our vibrant, happy, and healthy 3 ½-year-old daughter who fills our lives with joy. Without the support system I discovered, I doubt I would appreciate what we have now. To those who helped me navigate this journey with kindness, respect, and love, I will always be thankful.
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Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, I share how a frightening incident involving my child’s accidental ingestion of a battery led me to feelings of overwhelming guilt and depression. It took time and support to navigate my mental health challenges, but I learned the importance of seeking help and the power of compassion in parenting. Today, I cherish the joy my daughter brings to our lives, understanding that no parent should face their struggles alone.