I was in the middle of organizing my bags for a business trip when my partner revealed that he wanted a divorce. The mix of emotions was overwhelming—part of me felt devastated, while another part felt a strange sense of relief. Just a few months prior, I would have been terrified at the thought of such a life change. The turning point? I had transitioned from being a stay-at-home mom to securing a stable job. In 2016, especially for stay-at-home moms, the financial implications of divorce are a heavy burden to carry.
Typically, no one enters marriage with the expectation of divorce looming on the horizon. And it’s safe to say that not many mothers embark on their parenting journey thinking, “I can’t wait to be a single mom.” So, as I stood there, grappling with my partner’s words, my heart felt heavy and my mind blank.
However, being a working mom during this chaotic time has provided me with a sense of stability. First, I know I have the means to provide for my children. While our living situation may not be ideal for a while, I can ensure their safety. Secondly, having a job gives me a necessary distraction, allowing me to focus on work instead of spiraling into a whirlwind of anxiety about the future. It gives my heart a chance to take a breather.
If I had still been a stay-at-home mom when my partner dropped this bombshell, I honestly can’t imagine how I would cope. I often hear stories of women finding their strength amid adversity and successfully transitioning from one life to another, and I wonder if I possess that same resilience. My inner voice sometimes doubts my ability to take decisive action, telling me, “I’m just me. I’m just a mom.”
My children are witnessing this upheaval, and that’s perhaps the most challenging aspect. They see me striving to keep it together, to maintain calm in the midst of chaos. The regular paycheck from my job allows me to model for them what it means to stand strong through tough times—no matter how uncertain the future may be. “I’m me, and I’m a strong mom!” my heart fiercely declares.
At night, when I close my eyes, my mind races through the to-do list for the next day, but it always reminds me to breathe and stay strong. I don’t know how other women navigate this challenging phase, and I rarely feel confident saying, “I’ve got this.” The truth is, I often wish to crumble, but I have to keep going. My heart and mind are in constant dialogue, battling fear with love, plans, and sadness.
So, every morning, I rise, don my work attire, prepare lunches, kiss foreheads, and head to work, grateful for the knowledge that my paycheck will appear every Friday. After a few more weeks of this routine, I hope to find a smaller, cozier place for my children and me, proving to them that I can be resilient after all. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination options, check out this link to one of our other blog posts.
In summary, my journey as a working mom has given me the strength to face the challenges of divorce head-on, providing stability for my children and myself. I may feel overwhelmed, but I am determined to show my kids that resilience is possible, even in the face of uncertainty.