As a parent, I’ve endured my fair share of antics from my kids. I often remind myself that “kids will be kids,” but there are moments when I can’t help but think about a little fun revenge once they’re adults. Here are a few humorous ideas that come to mind:
- Burst into the bathroom while my daughter is in the middle of a private moment and demand ice cream.
- Watch my son spend ages cooking a meal after a tiring day, only to “accidentally” drop it on the floor and request instant noodles instead.
- Wake my son up at the crack of dawn and ask if I can borrow his tablet.
- Mention to my daughter’s doctor that she sometimes uses colorful language while helping her kids with homework.
- Use their bathroom during a gathering and call out for someone to help me out.
- Show up for Thanksgiving dinner after they’ve slaved away and ask for a simple sandwich.
- Playfully pull down my daughter’s swimsuit in front of her friends at the pool, then reminisce about it with her partner for years.
- Slide my hand under the bathroom door and ask if they can see my fingers while describing the sounds I hear from inside.
- Request to sit on their lap while they’re trying to use the restroom.
- Leave a surprise in my underwear and forget to clean it up.
- Use their facilities without flushing.
- Casually ask them for cash every single day.
- Wake them up at 3 a.m. and then act grumpy all day long.
- Constantly interrupt them at the pool to show me some new trick or fix my goggles.
- Loudly debate with my son while shopping about whether he can smell my fart.
- Toss my daughter’s phone into the toilet and pin the blame on the cat.
- Offer to assist with household chores, then disappear to the bathroom pretending to be busy.
- Poke my son’s belly and ask if he’s expecting a child.
- Throw a toy on the floor during a car ride and then scream until they stop to retrieve it—only to repeat the process multiple times.
- Plead for a trip to fast food and then have an unfortunate accident in the drive-thru.
- Scatter granola all over the backseat of their car.
- While dining out, casually pick my nose and eat it in front of the person next to me.
- Leave a mess in their bathtub.
- Break something valuable at their place, then cry and demand they console me.
- Build up their frustration and then ask for a hug.
Okay, truth be told, I’d never actually pull any of these antics on my children. Being a parent requires maturity and understanding, but it sure is amusing to daydream about it! If you’re looking for more parenting tips or stories, check out this other blog post about creative approaches to home insemination. Also, for those interested in enhancing fertility, Make a Mom offers helpful insights. And for a deeper dive into pregnancy resources, the CDC is an excellent place to start.
In summary, while these humorous revenge fantasies are just that—fantasies—they remind us of the playful dynamic of parenting.