Not long ago, my sister’s husband surprised me with a gift: a cheerful sign inscribed with the well-known phrase, “Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy children.” I couldn’t help but crack a joke about how I don’t actually have sticky floors or a dirty oven, which led him to awkwardly clarify that he meant my home was impressively clean. Nice try, but it got me thinking.
We’ve all seen similar sayings plastered across Pinterest, implying that a chaotic home is a sign of a loving mother. “Excuse the mess. My kids are making memories!” is a common refrain, often found on pillows and mugs. If you’re lucky enough to have time to hang one of those signs, that is.
While I know my brother-in-law had good intentions, the message behind that sign left me pondering. I’m a mom to two energetic girls who aren’t exactly inclined to tidy up after themselves. Yet, my home is not a disaster zone. In fact, it’s quite tidy most days. Toys are put away, the bathrooms are clean, and I wouldn’t feel uneasy if a friend dropped by unexpectedly. The floors might even be spotless! I’m not looking for a superhero cape, but I do want to challenge this popular notion.
Juggling Responsibilities
Being a mom involves juggling much more than just playtime with the kids. Sure, I love diving into games of blocks, hosting tea parties, or reading the same book for the hundredth time. Our daily lives are filled with music, laughter, and fun. However, I refuse to let my 2-year-old dictate the schedule. She exists in my world, where chores are a reality.
Here’s the crux: this saying, while seemingly harmless, suggests that a good mother prioritizes her children’s immediate happiness over household responsibilities. She ignores laundry piles because her child has a puzzle to play with. She overlooks sticky floors for another round of hide-and-seek. It implies that a mother’s worth is measured by her children’s joy, which can lead to problematic parenting beliefs.
The Balance of Happiness and Responsibility
If we equate our kids’ happiness with good motherhood, we’re setting ourselves up for trouble. Ironically, the moments I feel I’m doing well as a parent often coincide with my toddler’s protests. I clean not because I want to be a fun-sucking mom, but to instill a strong work ethic in my daughters. I want them to understand that maintaining a household takes effort. Those cobwebs and dirty dishes won’t vanish on their own, no matter how many rounds of pat-a-cake we play.
Just like any job, managing a home requires discipline, intention, and plenty of elbow grease. To make chores more enjoyable, we blast our favorite tunes or have competitions to see who can pick up the most toys in ten seconds. We spin while we dust and sing through folding laundry. If I want my girls to chase their dreams — whether that’s becoming a teacher, CEO, or a masseuse (fingers crossed) — they need to see me modeling hard work in our day-to-day lives.
Teaching Independence
Moreover, I want my daughters to grasp that the universe doesn’t revolve solely around them. While they motivate me to rise every morning, they aren’t the sole reason for my existence. I genuinely want them to look back on their childhood with fond memories of laughter and fun, but I also believe a great mom gives her children the freedom to explore, imagine, and play independently. They need that space to grow and learn.
The Real Measure of Motherhood
So, does it really matter if my home is spotless? Or if yours isn’t? Absolutely not. A clean house doesn’t determine my effectiveness as a mother any more than a messy one defines yours. What truly matters is what we’re teaching our kids through our actions. If we ignore life’s responsibilities to keep our children entertained, what are we really showing them? Conversely, if we prioritize a spotless home over quality time, what lessons are we imparting? Ultimately, the life skills we model during our routines — like mopping sticky floors or cleaning the oven — are what truly matter, even if they momentarily upset our little ones.
If you’re interested in more insights on home insemination, resources like Make a Mom provide valuable information. Additionally, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine is a fantastic resource for anything related to pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, the message is clear: being a good mother isn’t about having a messy house or a spotless one. It’s about the lessons we impart to our children through our daily actions and responsibilities.