Feminism holds different meanings for different people, but for me, it signifies recognizing the equal strength and capability of women alongside men — and understanding that, even today, this isn’t always acknowledged. Feminism isn’t about women being superior to men, nor does it dictate how women should present themselves or whether they choose to stay at home. It’s about ensuring that everyone, regardless of their gender, has the freedom to make choices about their lives. It’s about empowering both women and men to step outside the traditional gender roles if they desire to do so.
I proudly identify as a feminist, and I’m fortunate that my partner, Alex, shares this belief. Throughout our marriage and parenting journey, we’ve consistently supported one another in pursuing the roles we desire. While we’ve embraced some traditional dynamics—he’s the main breadwinner, handles most of the kid transport, and enjoys playful roughhousing with our sons—others are less conventional. For instance, he takes our kids to most of their medical appointments, and he spent countless hours soothing our infants. Meanwhile, I manage our family’s finances and make the majority of spending decisions.
Being a feminist dad doesn’t mean that Alex discusses feminist theories or constantly praises my efforts; it means he actively participates in our family life, shares parenting responsibilities, and doesn’t impose expectations on me purely based on my gender.
Here’s what it truly means to be a feminist dad:
- Feminist dads don’t see time spent with their kids as ‘babysitting.’ When Alex takes the kids out, someone often remarks, “What a great dad you are!” Yet, nobody ever compliments me for running errands with our children. The reality is, dads are parents too, and spending time with their kids is simply part of the job.
- Feminist dads understand that parenting is a full-time role. Parenting doesn’t stop when the sun goes down, especially during the early years. If a setup works where the mom handles most of the nighttime duties, that’s fine, but dads are just as capable of helping out during late-night wake-ups.
- Feminist dads support their partners’ choices. Roles regarding who works outside the home, who makes the kids’ lunches, and who comforts the newborn should stem from personal preference, not gender norms. Yes, birthing and breastfeeding typically fall to the person with the uterus, but after that, it’s all about choice.
- Feminist dads remain open-minded regarding their kids’ gender expressions. If your son wants to wear a tutu or your daughter opts for a buzzcut, embrace it. Feminist dads don’t confine their children to outdated gender stereotypes.
- Feminist dads share household chores equally. I detest laundry, while Alex can manage it better. I enjoy tidying up, but I refuse to be the sole person picking up after our kids. Sharing chores means finding what works best for both partners.
- Feminist dads collaborate on decisions. Every choice, big or small, is made together. This may seem basic, but it wasn’t always the case, and many relationships still exhibit unequal dynamics.
- Feminist dads are not afraid to express emotions. Let’s applaud the dads who allow their newborns to sleep on their chests, the babywearing dads, and those who aren’t shy to say “I love you” multiple times a day or shed tears in front of their children. We appreciate you!
I know I’m not alone in having a supportive partner. While Alex isn’t perfect (who is?), I’m grateful to navigate this wild parenting journey with him. As the parents of two boys, I cherish the fact that he serves as a positive role model of fatherhood. I can’t predict if either of my sons will become fathers, but I have no doubt that if they do, they will likely be fantastic feminist dads too.
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Summary: In this post, we celebrate feminist dads who actively share parenting responsibilities, break free from traditional gender roles, and foster emotional openness. By supporting their partners and encouraging their children to express themselves freely, these dads set a powerful example for future generations.