My mom was truly remarkable, especially considering she raised me alone after my father passed away when I was just eight. Her dedication to me was unwavering, and I am forever thankful for that. However, like every parent, there are certain aspects of her parenting that I aim to approach differently with my children. While I recognize that some of these traits may be ingrained in me, I’d like to break the cycle.
1. Prioritizing Appearances
My mom was always focused on how things looked, whether it was the cleanliness of our home or the moods we portrayed. She worked tirelessly to maintain the illusion that everything was perfect. I, however, don’t feel the need to uphold that facade. Our home was often cluttered with dishes in the sink and clothes on the floor, yet it didn’t bother me. I want my kids to understand that it’s okay to be authentic and that they don’t have to impress anyone. Being genuine is far more valuable.
2. Fear of Getting Dirty
My mom had a constant worry about dirt. I watched in envy as other kids joyfully played in the mud and splashed in puddles, while I was reprimanded for getting my clothes dirty. I remember crying during a soccer game because I slipped in the mud—not because I disliked being dirty, but because I was scared of her reaction. Clothes can be washed, but the joy of playing outside is irreplaceable. I want my kids to embrace the fun of being messy.
3. Overreacting to Mistakes
Mom would get upset over small accidents, like spilled milk. I remember her yelling, “You need to be more careful!” While reminders to pay attention are helpful, I don’t want my children to feel guilty about accidents. Mistakes are a part of life, and it’s essential to maintain perspective. Losing lunch money or breaking something isn’t a crime; it’s just life happening. I want my kids to learn from their mishaps without fear of judgment.
4. Encouraging Open Dialogue
I want my kids to feel comfortable asking me anything without fear of criticism. My mom often jumped straight to problem-solving instead of providing the empathy I needed. When I shared my frustrations, her responses sometimes made me feel guilty rather than understood. I hope to create an environment where my kids can share their feelings openly, knowing I’ll listen and offer support, whether they just need a shoulder to lean on or some advice.
While my mom did many things right, these are a few areas where I see room for improvement in my own parenting. It’s easier to voice these concerns than to list the countless ways she set me up for success. And for more insights on parenting and family dynamics, check out this blog post.
In conclusion, it’s essential to reflect on our upbringing and strive for a balance that fosters realness, adventure, understanding, and open communication in our parenting journey.