I never envisioned myself as a mother. I wasn’t the type of girl who fantasized about cradling a baby in my arms. In fact, I often questioned my ability to care for even a pet, let alone a tiny human being. When I found out I was pregnant at 28 with my daughter, I was overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions: doubt, fear, hope, and sometimes, sheer ambivalence. My 20s had been chaotic, and I wasn’t the only one wondering if I was ready for this journey—my partner, my parents, and my closest friends all cautiously supported me as I stepped into motherhood.
But then she arrived.
Without a doubt, my daughter is the most incredible gift I’ve ever received. She has taught me lessons about myself that I never expected. Here are seven important lessons I’ve learned through parenting:
- I am far more resilient than I ever imagined. Whether it was a surge of “maternal instinct” or simply being thrust into adulthood, the love I felt for my daughter from the moment she was born gave me strength. Since becoming a parent, I’ve navigated challenges I never thought I could face—without relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms. From relationship struggles to personal loss, I’ve managed to cope with trials that once seemed overwhelming.
- I can handle the mess without losing my cool. I anticipated the diaper changes, but I had no clue about the sheer amounts of bodily fluids I would encounter. I was once someone who could feel nauseous at the mere scent of something unpleasant. Yet, I tackled cleaning up spills and messes with unexpected ease, from car seats to my own hair. It turns out, I am quite the superhero in disguise.
- Having a child doesn’t mean the end of your life. During my pregnancy, I often heard comments like, “Enjoy your freedom while it lasts!” or “Get ready for sleepless nights!” These sentiments only added to my anxiety. However, after welcoming my daughter and reflecting on nearly 13 years of parenthood, I can confidently say that my life truly began with her. Yes, there were changes, but my life is infinitely richer and happier now.
- I can love deeply, even in the face of rejection. There are many times when being a parent feels incredibly challenging. My daughter has had moments of anger toward me for setting boundaries. Yet, even during those tough times, my love for her remains steadfast, unwavering through the ups and downs.
- I understand now that my parents did their best. My childhood had its share of difficulties, and while I didn’t hold my parents entirely accountable, I often felt emotionally distant from them. Becoming a mother myself has given me insight into their struggles. I see now that they, too, were navigating parenthood without any guide, making imperfect decisions along the way. This experience has brought me closer to them.
- My ability to forgive has grown immensely. Before I became a parent, I was quick to cut people out of my life if they hurt me. However, my relationship with my daughter has opened my heart to forgiveness. I’ve found it easier to let go of past grievances, not just with others, but also with myself. Forgiving myself for past mistakes has been a powerful part of my journey.
- I can genuinely like—no, LOVE—myself. Before motherhood, I struggled with self-acceptance due to a tough upbringing and personal battles. During my pregnancy, those feelings persisted. But the moment I held my daughter, I felt a shift. The love I felt for her overwhelmed my self-doubt, allowing me to begin liking and eventually loving myself.
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In summary, parenting has transformed my life in unexpected ways, revealing strengths and insights that I never thought possible. Through the challenges and joys, I have grown as a person and learned to embrace love and forgiveness, both for myself and others.