In the summer of 2012, my fifteen-year-old daughter, Mia, urged me to take her on an adventure to Montauk Point. Having spent most of our lives on the opposite side of Long Island, neither of us had ventured to “The End.” Though we had come close during Girl Scout camping trips, we had never made it to this picturesque destination, famed for its lighthouse and museum. It felt like a journey we had to undertake together.
We turned our day into an adventure, indulging in a delightful breakfast along the way, braving torrential rain, and finally arriving at Montauk as the skies cleared. We climbed the lighthouse, explored the museum, snapped photos, relaxed on the beach, and wandered around, instantly falling in love with the place. We promised to return for the holiday lighting event held the weekend after Thanksgiving.
That Thanksgiving was particularly special. My eldest daughter, Sarah, was coming home from college for the weekend, bringing her girlfriend, Jenna, who was soon to become her fiancée. It would be Tara’s first holiday with our family of six.
I had arranged a packed weekend. The older girls would spend the morning with my three-year-old, Lily, while I prepared the Thanksgiving feast. They would bond and play games with Mia and my twelve-year-old son, Ethan. We would gather for dinner with my in-laws and cap the night off with a movie. The next day was reserved for Montauk, just the girls and me, while Saturday would be dedicated to decorating the Christmas tree, reminiscing about our cherished ornaments, and sipping hot cocoa.
Most of the weekend unfolded as planned, but the trip to Montauk turned out differently than I anticipated. The drive took about two and a half hours, and doing it later in the day to catch the lighting made our time there feel rushed. Everyone seemed to need bathroom breaks and food, adding stress to our mission of arriving on time. When we finally got there, the weather was frigid, with a biting wind. We found a decent spot to witness the lighting and catch a glimpse of Santa, but we didn’t linger for long. I struggled to navigate back to the car in the dark while Lily fussed about being cold and frightened.
The drive home was memorable in its own way. Lily had a cold, and her sensory issues made her particularly reliant on me to wipe her nose. Every couple of seconds, I heard from the backseat, “You g’ wipe my nose?” I explained that I needed to focus on driving, but my explanations did little to soothe her. “You g’ wipe my nose. We g’ walk fast home. Then I be happy,” she insisted, repeating it over and over. After what felt like an eternity of negotiating, she finally let one of the older girls help her, leading to a comical scene of her tossing used tissues toward the front seat—definitely not a relaxing drive for me!
Once the weekend concluded, I spoke to Sarah on the phone and asked if she and Jenna enjoyed their time with us. She exclaimed that they had a fantastic time. Curious about Jenna’s favorite aspect of the holiday, I was surprised by her answer.
It wasn’t the meticulously crafted Thanksgiving dinner tailored to accommodate both my turkey-loving in-laws and my vegan daughters; it wasn’t the fun evening at the movies watching “Breaking Dawn”; nor was it the joy of playing with Lily at the playground or decorating the Christmas tree. Instead, Jenna’s highlight of the holiday weekend was our visit to Montauk.
“Really?” I asked, baffled. “The long drive, the brief visit, the bitter cold, and Lily’s antics?”
“It was magical,” Sarah replied. The joy came from the car ride where we sang our favorite Christmas songs, the clear night along the rocks illuminated by the huge moon reflecting on the water, and the perfect timing of arriving just as the lighthouse was lit. Surprisingly, Lily’s silly behavior added a layer of humor to the evening.
As mothers, we often feel the pressure to create holiday magic. However, I learned from our Montauk trip that true magic often arises spontaneously in the hearts and minds of our children—and those they bring home. All we need to do is invest our time and remain open to those moments. For more insights into creating family memories, check out this post on family adventures.
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In summary, family adventures are about the moments we share, not just the destinations we reach. Embrace the chaos, cherish the laughter, and let the magic unfold.
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