Every so often, the issue of mass shootings in America jolts us back to reality. Names of towns like Columbine, Fort Hood, Sandy Hook, and Aurora echo in our minds—places once deemed safe for families. Recently, the tragedy in Orlando has once again shattered any sense of security we might have had. But as mothers, we have never truly felt secure.
In the aftermath of such violence, our fears surge. The moment we become parents, our hearts walk around outside our bodies. Our worries aren’t for ourselves; they are for our children. The victims in Orlando were once someone’s child. Picture the anguish of their parents, calling their phones only to hear the dreaded voicemail. Every mother’s nightmare unfolds: a child shot, alone, bleeding, and terrified. We live in a state of fear, constantly on edge.
This terror is exactly what those perpetrators—individuals like Ethan McKenzie and Noah Rivers—aim to instill. They are terrorists, and while we can strive to overcome their influence, they have already claimed our emotional well-being. We mothers are terrorized; we fear losing what we hold dear.
In places like malls and grocery stores, we question whether the carts our children ride in could shield them from bullets. In Target, we ponder how we could use a dress as a makeshift tourniquet. At Walmart, a thought creeps in: can I keep my children quiet if we have to hide? What about the baby—would he cry and give us away?
When we go to the movies, the memory of past shootings haunts us. We know that flimsy seats won’t protect us. At church, the fear is palpable; we pray our bodies can shield our children if danger arises. For those of us who are part of marginalized communities, the worry intensifies. We envision hate-filled attacks based on our skin color or sexual identity.
Sending our children to school brings its own set of fears. We remember the heartbreaking drills kindergarteners practice and the tragic events at Sandy Hook. Each kiss we give our high-schoolers is tinged with anxiety, as we wonder whether they will be safe from potential threats.
Our daily outings are now overshadowed by the presence of angry individuals with firearms. These fears have become as common as the risk of traffic accidents or other dangers, constantly reminding us of the fragility of our loved ones.
Our minds race with worry, especially after tragic events, and it feels impossible to quiet those thoughts. Yes, this is terror, repeating itself over and over. We may be victims of this fear, but we continue to live our lives. We go to the mall, we shop at Target, and we send our children to school. We won’t allow the terrorists to dictate our lives, but we are mothers, and we are undeniably terrorized.
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In summary, the constant fear of violence and its impact on motherhood is a reality we face daily. The emotional toll is heavy, but we persevere for the sake of our children.