I found myself in tears this morning.
Not for any specific reason, yet for every reason imaginable. It’s one of those moments that just happens. I was reflecting on an essay I had penned about friendship, and with every line, the emotions swelled until I finally had to pause, bury my face in my hands, and weep. Sometimes the weight of everything just overwhelms you, right?
Life can be so full, chaotic, beautiful, challenging, delicate, and extraordinary all at once. Last weekend was definitely one of those moments for me. After spending time with dear friends from far and wide, I felt a mix of gratitude and emptiness. Grateful for these friendships, yet longing for even more connection. There never seems to be enough time, does there?
Most of my tears were filled with joy, appreciation, and release, as I am truly thankful for these lasting bonds. Friendships that have endured for decades and across miles. They’ve weathered ups and downs, misunderstandings, reconciliations, heartaches, and apologies. These relationships are resilient enough to thrive on texts, emails, and social media chats, growing stronger despite the distance.
But there were also tears of sadness, loneliness, and poignancy. As thankful as I am, I can’t help but wish for more. More shared moments in comfortable silence since we’ve already had those deep conversations. More spontaneous calls saying, “I’m on my way—let’s grab pizza.” More laughter until we cry, without having to plan it weeks ahead. I want to know the little details—the mess in her car, her kids’ school, the secrets of her life that come from living intertwined.
You can call me selfish, but I think this desire is human nature. We all crave to be seen, heard, and understood, and that’s what time with good friends offers—a chance to connect deeply. Even though we may not always see eye-to-eye and our lives can be quite different, those variations often enrich our friendships. It’s magical to be around people who uplift you, who encourage you to be your best self, and who, at the same time, remind you that you are enough just as you are.
Friendship is potent, essential, and beautiful. Yet, like all meaningful relationships, it can be tough at times. Finding time for each other, looking past differences, and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable can all present challenges.
Friendships are filled with the same complexities of life—full, crazy, beautiful, hard, fragile, and amazing. That’s why sometimes I just need to put my head in my hands and cry. But then I reach for my phone and send a message to a friend: “I miss you.” She replies with a funny meme and “I miss you too.” And even though we might be miles apart, we share a smile and a laugh, recognizing that while it may not be everything we desire, it’s still more than enough.
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In summary, friendships can be incredibly fulfilling yet sometimes leave us yearning for more. It’s important to appreciate the bonds we have while recognizing the complexities that accompany them.