As a busy parent of twin toddlers, I sometimes find a moment to sit down and share my thoughts amidst the chaos of cooking, diaper changes, laundry, and the endless cycle of sleepless nights. In these moments, I pour my heart out about my struggles—my battles with mental health, past addictions, and parenting challenges. This is my way of being open and honest; I’m not here to complain, but rather to embrace my imperfections.
A couple of weeks ago, feeling overwhelmed and weary of the often contradictory rules of parenting, I decided to write about my frustrations. Most readers resonated with my message. However, a small group of individuals—men and women alike—completely missed the point. They either skimmed over my article or only glanced at the title—“Excuse Me While I Slather My Child With Toxic Death Cream”—and suddenly, I was cast as the villain. On one side of the battlefield, I found myself facing accusations armed with guilt and shame, while I sat there in my pajamas, unsure if I could identify the mysterious sticky substance on my hands.
Come on, people! It’s called satire. Humor is how I cope with the absurdities of life. I’ve survived significant struggles, including addiction and trauma. If my writing doesn’t resonate with you, that’s okay—it’s my personal blog, not a scientific journal. For me, humor is essential; it’s a massive step forward from where I once was.
Unfortunately, the divisiveness in our society often leads to extreme reactions. Within just 24 hours of my post going live, I received some alarming messages—one individual even suggested I take my own life. Yes, my blog about sunscreen prompted someone to tell me that! I also faced harsh comments about my decision to have children.
In an attempt to humanize the situation, I shared a family photo, hoping it would prompt some reflection before people fired off hateful comments. It’s easy to hide behind a screen while spreading negativity, but I believe in choosing love over hate. Despite the lack of sleep, I haven’t deleted any of the comments or responded in anger; I respect everyone’s right to their opinion. When I see over 2 million people engaging with my post positively, it reassures me that I’m on the right path.
I never anticipated the outpouring of response my post would receive. Within three days, it garnered over 2 million views and half a million likes on my site alone—it even caught the attention of major media outlets like ABC and NBC. It’s clear that many parents are feeling the weight of judgment and isolation in today’s culture. I was overwhelmed by messages from mothers and fathers expressing their gratitude for my words and sharing their own struggles.
I had no idea how deeply the so-called “Mommy Wars” had affected so many. The reality is, my post wasn’t just about sunscreen; it was about the internal battles we all face with judgment and shame. To any parent who felt attacked by my tone, I sincerely apologize; that was never my intention. I’m just a flawed human being striving for hope and kindness.
We need to stop shaming each other. No matter our parenting choices, we should be supporting one another. My post was a reflection of parental exhaustion and confusion about whom to trust regarding parenting advice. The responses I saw showed a distinct lack of middle ground—people either believed every study or dismissed them entirely.
For anyone feeling compelled to judge, I kindly ask that you reconsider your approach. We are all doing our best, and we should be lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. Remember, when you aim your frustrations at someone, consider that they may be fighting their own battles too.
So, if you feel the urge to leave a nasty comment on a struggling parent’s blog, just know that I’ve faced far worse and come through. I wish you all well.
This article was originally published on June 10, 2016.
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In summary, let’s strive to foster a supportive environment where we can share our experiences without fear of judgment. We’re all in this together, navigating the complexities of parenthood.