I grew up in a household where spanking was a common form of discipline. I can still vividly recall the last time I received a spanking. My cousin and I were having a blast playing a game that encouraged us to prank call someone. With a 1980s portable phone in hand, I dialed a random number and was met by an elderly woman’s voice. In a moment of mischief, I abruptly said, “Bye!” and hung up, bursting into laughter with my cousin.
Unbeknownst to us, the phone rang back. “Hello?” I answered, only to hear the same voice. “I’d like to speak to your father, please.” Panic set in as I realized my prank had consequences. I handed the phone to my dad, who erupted in anger. He yelled at both of us, but I was the one who felt the sting of his hand on my backside as I walked past him. Instead of regretting my actions or feeling remorse for the old lady, I was consumed by feelings of shame and bitterness. I vowed never to spank my future children.
Fast forward to when I became a mother. With every memory of my own childhood spankings etched in my mind, I was determined to embrace a different approach to parenting. I proclaimed to everyone, “My child will never be spanked!” Some people supported me; others were skeptical, but my resolve remained firm. I found validation in positive parenting philosophies that emphasized understanding and communication, such as time-outs and active listening rather than physical punishment.
Then, life threw me a curveball: I had three boys, ages 6, 4, and 2. One chaotic morning, while trying to apply makeup amidst a messy house, the sounds of happy sword fights turned into distress. My eldest came running, tears streaming down his face, claiming his younger brother had bitten him. In that instant, all my frustrations boiled over, and I yelled for my 4-year-old, Leo, to come to me. When he did, I grabbed his arm and, in a moment of blind rage, I spanked him hard.
The shock on his face as he cried on the bathroom floor broke my heart. I had broken my promise. I remembered the principle that you should never spank in anger, but there I was, consumed by it. Feeling devastated, I knew I had to own up to my mistake.
“Leo?” I said gently, sitting beside him. “I’m really sorry I hit you.” His eyes widened in disbelief. “You hit me, Mommy!” he replied, still processing the hurt. I reassured him, “I did it because I was angry, and I promise I won’t do it again.” My 6-year-old, watching the exchange, chimed in, “You promise?” and I affirmed my commitment.
Yet, once I crossed that line, it became difficult to resist the temptation of threatening my kids with spanking. Each time I did, they reminded me of my promise, and I had to admit they were right. I reaffirmed my commitment: I would not hit my children again.
This experience has been a challenging journey, but I hope to stay true to my vow of gentle parenting. If you’re navigating similar struggles, you might find comfort in exploring resources on home insemination, like this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. And for even more insights, check out Make a Mom for their authority on the topic.
In summary, parenting is a journey filled with challenges, and it’s essential to learn from our mistakes while striving for a better path.