Every day, I find myself worrying that I’m failing my kids. I guess this is just part of being a parent, but aren’t we supposed to be like superhumans? I used to think that parents were supposed to be flawless and more morally upright than I could ever be.
But the reality is, I mess up regularly. I often catch myself reminiscing about my actions and convincing myself I’m a mediocre father. I worry that my children will grow up with few ambitions, eventually appearing on some talk show, explaining how their father’s shortcomings led them down a troubling path.
Am I being dramatic? Probably. I tend to do that. Anyway, here are some of the things that keep me up at night regarding my parenting:
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I Want to Be Their Friend More Than Their Parent.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tossed aside chores like cleaning the living room for a cookie binge on the couch while watching cartoons. Sure, it’s fun in the moment, but deep down, I feel like I’m failing to teach them respect for rules and responsibility. Then I reflect on my mood swings, flipping from fun dad to strict disciplinarian, and I worry I’m just confusing them. -
I Raise My Voice Too Often.
Let’s be real: sometimes my kids don’t listen. I’ll ask them to tidy up multiple times only to find one of them playing in the sink while the other is dressing a teddy bear. Frustration sets in, and my tone shifts from playful to gruff. The guilt hits hard when I hear myself echoing things my parents used to say, and I wonder if I’m doing more harm than good. -
I’m Inconsistent with Punishments.
I can recall numerous instances where I’ve dished out punishments I later questioned. My partner often pulls me aside, asking if I really needed to get angry over something minor. More often than not, the answer is no. My changing moods lead to unpredictable discipline, and I can’t help but think this isn’t benefiting my children. -
I Don’t Set the Best Example.
How many times have I told my daughter Lily she can’t have a snack after dinner, only to sneak into the kitchen myself later? I’ll chide my son Max for his soda intake while I gulp down cans like they’re water. I even find myself enjoying the same silly jokes I scold them for. It’s clear I don’t always practice what I preach. -
I Let Them Play Me.
When Lily once drew on our nice living room chair with permanent marker, I was furious. But when she looked up at me with those huge, innocent eyes and apologized in the sweetest voice, my heart melted. I sometimes wonder if kids have this power to prevent us from losing our cool completely. -
I Sometimes Resort to Bribery.
Just a while back, Max was dragging his feet getting ready for church. Instead of putting up a fight, I offered him cookies as an incentive. He quickly countered with a request for even more treats, and I caved in. I worry that I’m teaching him to negotiate for rewards rather than doing things for the sake of responsibility.
In the end, I realize I’m not the most consistent father. But perhaps the real issue is that I’m just human. I make mistakes, and even though I deeply love my kids, emotions and fatigue can get the best of me. Parenting is undoubtedly the toughest job I’ve ever faced.
What I do know is that I’m quick to admit when I’m wrong, and I make sure my kids hear it. Each evening when I come home to their beaming smiles and warm hugs, I’m reminded that, regardless of my flaws, they truly feel my love.
In conclusion, even in the midst of chaos and inconsistency, love shines through.
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