Updated: April 14, 2020
Originally Published: June 8, 2016
I can’t see a bright light, but I sense that my time is running out. It’s a Friday evening. I’m in an intensive care unit after delivering my twins at 35 weeks and 3 days. My blood pressure has skyrocketed to 240 over 120, and my body trembles uncontrollably. I struggle to respond when the doctor asks if I can hear him. Suddenly, three more doctors rush in and insert a second IV into my other arm. They are frantically administering medication to try to stabilize my dangerously high blood pressure. I can’t see a white light, but I know my life is in jeopardy.
Flashback to Eight Months Earlier
My husband and I had been trying to conceive. We already had a lovely 1½-year-old daughter, and we wanted to expand our family. When I took a pregnancy test and saw a positive result, I was ecstatic. I took another 10 tests (as one does), and during our first ultrasound, the technician cheerfully said, “Congratulations! How many congratulations do you need?”
We both exclaimed, “Just one!”
“Actually, it’s two!” he replied. I burst into laughter while my husband stood in stunned silence. After a moment, he calmly said, “I need to find a second job.”
I won’t bore you with the pregnancy details, but carrying twins was no easy feat. By week 12, I was enormous, I battled morning sickness (which extended into the afternoon and evening) until week 26, and I struggled to find two names I loved!
The real shock came during a routine checkup at 28 weeks. I was running late, and when my blood pressure was taken, it was high—no surprise there. However, when the nurse asked me to wait for a recheck, I felt annoyed. When she took my blood pressure again, it was even higher, and her worried expression told me something was wrong. “Is your eyesight blurry?” she inquired—never a good sign. After a urine test, I heard the term “preeclampsia” for the first time.
For those unfamiliar, preeclampsia is a serious condition characterized by dangerously high blood pressure and potential organ failure, posing risks for both mother and baby. I was admitted to the hospital that day and remained there for nearly two months. Daily, specialists informed me that I would likely deliver within the next 24 hours—news that was terrifying, especially since my twins were still so small.
Determined to stay positive, I focused on uplifting thoughts, asked supportive women in social media groups to share their good stories, and read everything I could to understand preeclampsia and my options. I drank copious amounts of water, convinced it was cleansing my body—a theory I concocted without any factual basis. I visualized reaching 35 weeks, believing that if I made it that far, my babies would be fine.
The hardest part was being away from my eldest daughter, Mia, who had just turned two. I could endure the hospital food, the constant tests, and the fear, but missing Mia was unbearable. In my darkest moments, I wished for the twins to arrive so I could return to her.
Against all odds, I managed to stay in the hospital for nearly two months. During that time, I met incredibly strong women, witnessing their determination to care for their premature babies. Although it was the most challenging experience of my life, it opened my eyes to the resilience of motherhood.
Finally, at 35 weeks, I told the doctors, “It’s time. Get them out.” I was elated to have my C-section scheduled! When I first saw my twins, I cried. They were so tiny—Dylan weighed just 4 lbs. 6 oz., and Lily was even smaller at 4 lbs. 3 oz. I loved them immediately, even though I thought Lily was the ugliest baby I’d ever seen!
Later that night, I awoke in intensive care feeling a sense of dread. I called the nurse, who confirmed my blood pressure was alarmingly high and rising. My husband, who had been sleeping in a chair beside me, woke up to the chaos. I understood what was happening—I was sliding into eclampsia, a condition characterized by seizures that can lead to coma or death. The tremors began, and I panicked, thinking, how could I leave my three daughters with a husband who couldn’t even see that I was in danger?
In that moment, I chose not to give in. I closed my eyes and imagined myself on a beach, sipping a piña colada, then a margarita. I could hear the doctor asking if I was okay, but I was lost in thoughts of my family, reliving precious moments with them. I found myself smiling, and I imagined the doctors must have thought I was losing my mind.
As I focused on those happy memories, my blood pressure began to stabilize. My body calmed down, and I opened my eyes. I was alive. All I could think was how fortunate I was to have such dedicated people around me, including my husband, who looked utterly shocked as he realized how close he had come to losing me.
That night was the longest of my life, and while I knew the worst was over, I was aware that new challenges awaited. A few days later, I was able to go home with my babies, and thus began my fast-paced adventure into parenthood with three children. From that moment on, I decided that humor would be my ally and positive thinking my shield.
If you’re interested in learning more about pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy from the NIH. For those looking to explore self-insemination options, websites like Make A Mom provide great information, including artificial insemination kits. And if you’re curious about intracervical insemination, you can read about it here.
Summary
In this heartfelt account, Ava Collins shares her harrowing experience with eclampsia after the birth of her twins, detailing the challenges of pregnancy complications, the emotional struggle of being away from her eldest daughter, and the importance of positive thinking and resilience. Despite the life-threatening situation, she ultimately finds strength and humor as she embraces her new life as a mother of three.