Earlier this academic year, a troubling incident occurred involving a college student at Stanford University. In a shocking case, Brock Allen Turner assaulted an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. Meanwhile, my 11-year-old daughter received her very first cell phone. Not long after, a boy called her and yelled, “I just want you to know that I think you’re a freaking brat!”
Brock’s victim woke up in a hospital with no clear memory of the night, her underwear missing and pine needles tangled in her hair. Shockingly, she didn’t share her experience with anyone for weeks. When I spoke to my daughter about the phone call, she dismissed it, saying that such comments are common among boys her age. She claimed it didn’t bother her and refused to engage further.
Brock’s father infamously stated, “This is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action… I know as his father, that incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Brock.” I reached out to the boy’s parents, who brushed the incident off. The father suggested we let the kids handle it themselves, insisting his son didn’t mean any harm. The mother promised to return my call but did not.
During Brock’s trial, the defense questioned the victim’s past, her clothing, and her level of intoxication, with Brock claiming she had consented. Friends and other parents even suggested my daughter might have done something to provoke the boy’s outburst, or that he might have a crush on her.
Ultimately, Brock was sentenced to just six months in county jail, a far cry from the potential 14 years he could have faced, due to concerns about how prison time would affect his future. I reported the boy’s actions to the school, but the counselor dismissed it, claiming, “These boys don’t even realize what they’re saying. They mimic what they see on TV and in movies. Let’s not embarrass him over it, especially since it didn’t happen at school.”
I am unashamed to say, this is where rape culture takes root. It begins early, often unnoticed until it manifests into tragic outcomes that shatter lives. Change is essential—we must educate our sons to respect girls and ensure that young men understand the importance of listening to and protecting women. Moreover, consequences for harmful actions should be appropriate.
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Summary
Rape culture is often overlooked in its early stages, manifesting even in middle school. Parents and educators must actively address disrespectful behaviors and educate young boys on how to treat girls with respect. The consequences of inaction can lead to tragic outcomes, making it essential for communities to come together and foster a culture of respect and understanding.