Hey there, Mama. How are you really holding up? You might say you’re fine, but I can see the truth behind that smile. It’s okay; I’m not fine either.
Honestly, I don’t know any moms who are genuinely “fine” at all. Maybe we should retire that word from our conversations. Most days, motherhood is a wild mix of extremes—those incredible highs and the crushing lows, moments of overwhelming joy balanced with bouts of intense frustration. You experience love that fills your heart and exhaustion that drains your spirit.
These ups and downs can be exhausting. Even the joyful moments can leave you feeling depleted. The constant shifts take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. One insightful writer, Lisa Hartley, describes this feeling as being “soul-weary.” Motherhood can make you soul-weary, especially if you’re neglecting your own needs.
I get it; taking time for yourself seems like just another item to add to your never-ending to-do list. How can you possibly prioritize self-care when little ones are counting on you? It can feel like you’ve got nothing left to give.
Let me share something important, Mama. I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve cried alongside my baby, feeling utterly helpless and sleepless. I’ve gazed out at the mess that surrounds me, wondering how I ended up here. I’ve felt my nerves fraying, contemplating if I might actually crack under the pressure. I’ve even wrestled with the urge to walk out and keep going, far away from it all.
What I’ve learned in my parenting journey is that this urge isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a cue to take a step back. Hear me out. Motherhood is a beautiful, chaotic blend of joy and challenge. But when the challenges seem to overshadow the joy, it’s crucial to take a break. In fact, it’s long overdue. Feeling drained is valid because that’s exactly what you are—drained.
You might be thinking, “But I love my children!” and with that thought might come a wave of guilt. Here’s the truth: Love is boundless, but your energy isn’t. Love fuels you, while energy is what keeps you going. Without that energy, all the love in the world won’t get you anywhere. You’ll just feel stuck, yearning to move but lacking the capacity to do so. Refueling is essential, and ideally, it should happen before you hit rock bottom.
You might not want to hear this, but taking time for yourself often means stepping away from your kids. It’s a tough truth. You can’t fill your tank while you’re still in the driver’s seat. You think you’re helping your kids by being “on” all the time, but in reality, you’re not doing them any favors. You’re physically present, but not truly engaged.
Trust me when I say your kids need a mom who isn’t running on fumes. They need a mother who has both love and energy to share with them. They thrive when you’ve had enough time for yourself that you genuinely enjoy being with them.
I realize this idea might feel overwhelming, but here’s the bright side: it doesn’t require a lot of time. Just like filling up your car’s gas tank takes mere minutes but can power you for miles, you don’t need a whole weekend away. An hour or two spent intentionally refueling can transform your experience. Find a cozy coffee shop, a quiet bookstore, a spa, or wherever makes you feel most like yourself. Bring a book, your phone, or your journal—whatever helps you recharge. Maybe all you need is a nap. Take it.
If you’re short on childcare options, consider joining a moms’ group. If the first one doesn’t click, don’t hesitate to search for another. They’re everywhere! Reach out to local churches, community centers, or search online for “mom groups” in your area. Connecting with just one like-minded mom for a kid swap can be a total game-changer.
Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that how you feel now is what motherhood should be. Yes, it can be exhausting and overwhelming at times—that’s a universal truth. But if you feel like you’re teetering on the edge, it’s time to step back and breathe. Taking a break can shift your perspective on motherhood in ways you can’t imagine.
The biggest challenge is letting go of the notion that good moms don’t need breaks. Regular time away can prevent you from reaching your breaking point. Good moms ensure their own well-being, which ultimately benefits their children too. So, fill up your tank, Mama, for both your sake and theirs. It’ll make you a happier, more fulfilled mother, without a doubt.
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Summary
Being a mom can be incredibly rewarding yet exhausting. It’s vital to recognize when you need a break to recharge. Motherhood is filled with highs and lows, and finding time for yourself is crucial to avoid feeling drained. Taking short breaks can significantly improve your well-being and your relationship with your children. Remember, good moms prioritize their own needs too, ensuring they have the energy to love and engage with their kids fully.