I’ve been labeled both a strict and overly lenient parent. Strangers have shot me disapproving glares when my kids are having a meltdown in public, and I’ve given in to their whims only to regret it later. I’ve even had diners shift away from our table because my children and I were having too much fun. Sure, I let them enjoy soda on special occasions, which has drawn criticism, but I also don’t hesitate to take away treats if they’re acting up—even at a birthday party where I can feel the judgmental eyes of other parents.
When my oldest, Jake, misbehaves, the first thing I do is confiscate his phone—an action that feels like the end of the world for both of us. This ongoing challenge is one many parents face daily: how do we strike the right balance in disciplining our children? Some days I draw the line in places where I might have been lenient before. It’s a constantly shifting landscape, and what works for disciplining one day may not work the next.
Those who know me, as well as complete strangers, often have strong opinions about my parenting choices. They may think they have all the answers, but they don’t understand my unique circumstances or the context behind my decisions. When they give me judgmental looks or comment on my parenting style, they are unaware of the full story.
Every parent is on a quest for balance that may or may not even exist. After 13 years of parenting, I still find myself searching for it. We want our kids to feel safe and comfortable coming to us with their problems, yet we also don’t want to raise spoiled brats. We strive to be fair, but only we truly know when it’s time to be firm. How many times have we wondered if we were too harsh or not strict enough? Getting it right is undoubtedly one of the toughest aspects of parenting.
Finding that middle ground can feel nearly impossible. No matter the approach, kids will likely think we’re unfair at times. I see this as a positive sign; it prepares them better for the real world than being overly permissive would. When onlookers witness a public tantrum, they might assume I’m a pushover, but I know that parenting is about feeling out each situation as it arises.
Some days, I feel like a nurturing parent, while on others, I take on a stricter role. Ultimately, I know how I want to parent, and that vision changes daily. I’m the one in charge—not my kids, not strangers, and not even my family members. If my approach feels right to me, then that’s what matters, and I owe no explanations to anyone.
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In summary, finding the right approach to discipline is a nuanced journey that requires flexibility and self-awareness. Each day brings new challenges, and the key lies in trusting your instincts while maintaining open communication with your children.