After a grueling day, you find yourself in the grocery store, and your little one is on the floor having a meltdown over a piece of candy. Just when you think you can’t take it anymore, an experienced parent strolls by, flashes a knowing smile, and says, “You’re going to miss this.”
In all my years of parenting, I can tell you that those five words have never brought comfort to anyone. I may not be a parenting guru, but I do have three kids who are all at different stages of growing up.
The truth? You probably won’t look back on these moments with fondness, and that’s completely fine. Sure, you’ll reminisce about certain times in their childhood. There will be moments you wish you could relive, full of “shoulda, coulda, woulda,” but it’s not a blanket statement.
I miss when my kids were snuggly little infants, curled up in my arms. I would love to have just one day back with each of them at that age—but only if they were having a good day. The chaotic nights filled with diaper disasters, teething, and relentless separation anxiety? Those can stay in the past. I long for the days when they barely cried, devoured their meals, cuddled like champs, and slept through the night. That’s the baby I miss.
As for toddlers? Let’s be real—they can be demanding little creatures, and the memories of them can be quite selective. My oldest was infamous for biting; he was the little bunny causing all sorts of chaos at daycare. All three of my boys were masters at avoiding sleep, which was more of a curse than a blessing.
The past can keep those countless incident reports I had to fill out after my little whirlwind left his mark on someone else. I don’t want those memories back. But I do miss their first words and first steps, and the little moments that made them burst into laughter over the simplest things. Those times of discovery are ones I would gladly relive.
Now, my boys are 5, 6, and 8, and while we have plenty more stages to navigate, I feel content where we are right now. I do have days when I wish I had soaked it all in more, but the beauty of parenthood is that you’ll always crave those good days—where everything falls into place, and there’s more laughter than tears. Those moments are precious, and you’ll truly earn the memories that matter.
So, here’s my message: Don’t feel guilty if you find yourself not missing certain phases. Not every aspect of parenting is something to cherish. I hold dear the unforgettable moments I shared with my kids, even if they came with sleepless nights and messy days. I miss parts of each stage, yet I breathe a sigh of relief knowing those challenging times are behind us—and that’s totally okay.
The key to parenting is to embrace your children in their best times while supporting them through their toughest days. And if you find yourself missing something, it’s likely because you truly cared about it. So, when you don’t miss something, that’s perfectly fine.
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Summary:
In parenting, it’s okay to not miss every stage of childhood. While there are aspects you may cherish, many moments are just a part of the journey. Embrace the good times, support your kids through the difficult moments, and don’t feel guilty if certain phases don’t resonate with you.