On a chilly February evening, Anna Mitchell received the devastating news that no parent ever wants to hear: her 19-year-old son had tragically passed away. Alex, a pledge at the Alpha Delta fraternity at State University, had taken part in a drinking event the previous night. Surveillance footage revealed that his fraternity brothers not only encouraged underage drinking but also showed a shocking indifference to Alex’s obvious intoxication.
After several hours of participating in a drinking challenge, Alex fell down a staircase at the fraternity house. The footage captured his friends dragging him back upstairs and leaving him on a couch, where he remained for 12 hours before anyone recognized that he needed urgent medical help. During that time, some of his fraternity brothers were seen slapping his face, hitting his stomach, and even pouring water on him while he was unconscious. In a misguided attempt to prevent him from choking on his vomit, they placed a backpack on his chest. What kind of friends do such things?
The timeline of events, as detailed in court documents and news reports, is heart-wrenching for any parent. Alex received his first drink just after 9 p.m. and was visibly impaired within 90 minutes. He was incapacitated due to both his fall and excessive alcohol consumption. For 12 long hours, he was neglected and left to descend deeper into a state of alcoholic coma before someone finally made the call for help. Sadly, that call to emergency services came far too late.
Alex succumbed to complications from his ordeal, and in the aftermath, several fraternity brothers faced manslaughter charges. As I read this tragic account, I found it hard to fathom the details. How could a group of young men allow their friend to suffer so gravely? Was it peer pressure, or was it the culture of the fraternity? Another life lost to reckless decisions and alcohol misuse. It’s a reminder that we often find ourselves shaking our heads at such stories.
Are we truly educating our children about alcohol? More importantly, are we instilling in them the values of compassion and responsibility? How can we prepare them for the inevitable reality of college drinking?
My son is nearing 14 and is about to enter high school. I’ve spent years teaching him right from wrong, emphasizing the importance of helping others and being a responsible individual. Soon, he will be leaving our home for a dorm room, and I fear for what might happen if he finds himself in a similar situation. Will he be the one to call for help? The thought of a mother like Anna, experiencing such profound loss, terrifies me. What if my son drinks excessively at a party and ends up like Alex?
As parents, we need to improve our efforts in educating our kids about the dangers of alcohol. We must also empower them to recognize the signs of intoxication and how to react accordingly. Certainly, we can hold universities and fraternity organizations accountable, but that won’t change what happened to Alex.
We could express our outrage towards the individuals involved, but that won’t bring comfort to the grieving families. Instead of just reacting with anger, we must proactively engage our children in conversations about alcohol consumption long before they head off to college.
Initiating discussions about alcohol when our children are young is crucial. The earlier we start, the better, as highlighted in resources like talkearlyandoften.com and responsiblity.org.
Talk to your kids frequently about alcohol. Share your own experiences with drinking and explain the consequences of poor choices. Discuss news stories about alcohol-related incidents and ensure your child knows about ride-sharing apps for safety. Share your college experiences (no need for the embarrassing details) and remind them that you faced similar challenges. Most importantly, talk about situations like Alex’s and what to do if a friend is in trouble. Practice scenarios with them, so they feel confident in making the right decision, even when peer pressure looms.
After you’ve talked, take the time to listen to their thoughts on peer pressure and partying. Keep the conversation going. Because out there, a mother would give anything for just one more moment with her child.
Summary
Teaching children about responsible drinking starts early, focusing on open conversations about alcohol, the importance of compassion, and knowing how to respond in emergencies. Parents must take proactive steps to equip their teenagers with the knowledge and skills necessary to navigate the challenges of alcohol consumption as they enter adulthood.