Beloved, I’ve noticed the way you gaze at me, filled with yearning. I understand that you miss the carefree days before we became parents—those moments spent lazily watching sitcoms in bed, when it was just the two of us. I want you to know that I long for those times as well.
I see how bravely you’re navigating this journey alone. It seems I’ve unintentionally distanced myself, and I know how much you miss your closest friend. I want to reassure you that I’m still here, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
I sense a desire within you for me to stay home, to manage our kids and our home, and to share more moments with you instead of working as a nurse on shifts. I appreciate the sacrifices our family has made for me to continue my career, and I am truly grateful.
I feel the gap between us too. It’s palpable during the morning rush, at dinner when we’re too exhausted to speak, and at night when we lie next to each other, pretending to sleep without touching. I’m asking you to please wait for me.
These past five years have been a whirlwind. We’ve navigated the complexities of planning a wedding, buying a home despite financial hurdles, and embracing parenthood. Together, we’ve raised two spirited children who are bound to leave their mark on the world. We’ve supported each other through job challenges and the messy intricacies of life. We’ve made it this far.
Yet I see that I’m not present for you in the way you need right now, and I can feel it taking a toll on you. I know you understand my struggle, but I simply don’t have the energy to care for one more person. I need your strength. I need you to allow me to focus on myself first; otherwise, we risk everything.
In the last five years, I’ve been pregnant twice, my body transforming and recovering from carrying our 8- and 9-pound babies. I bear the marks of motherhood—scars, saggy skin, gray hairs, and a constant weariness that no makeup can mask. But deep down, I know you see my beauty, regardless of how I feel.
Since becoming a parent, I’ve sought help from various professionals to mend the changes that motherhood has brought to my body. I trust that you will support me, even if it means a future surgery could keep me away from work for a while.
My wardrobe is filled with maternity clothes, worn nursing tops, and pants that don’t quite fit. As my body slowly returns to its former self, the thought of another child makes me hesitate, even though my heart knows there’s more to come. I understand that you care little about what I wear or our family planning.
Between the challenges of pregnancy, sleepless nights, and the constant feeling of inadequacy in parenting, I oscillate between laughter and tears. Yet I know you’ll always be there with a comforting shoulder, mostly tolerant of my emotional ups and downs.
These five years have been tough, but I wouldn’t want to share this journey with anyone else. So, my dear partner, I want to remind you that I’m committed to us for the long haul. It might not seem like it now, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. As our children grow and we navigate out of this chaotic, beautiful, and overwhelming time in our lives, we will have more moments to share. I promise I’ll be able to give you more of my time.
Right now, I need to learn to believe in myself the way you already do. Please, continue to wait for me.
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Summary
This heartfelt letter expresses the struggles and emotional journey of a wife navigating motherhood and her relationship with her husband. She acknowledges their challenges, reassures him of her commitment, and asks for his patience as she works on herself. The piece emphasizes the importance of companionship and understanding while highlighting the joys and difficulties of parenting.