Every morning in our household begins with a familiar flurry of activity. We rise with a sense of urgency, racing against the clock to brush our teeth, take quick showers (or sometimes skip them, thanks to the convenience of a messy bun), and prepare the kids for school. Some mornings we tag team, while on others, one of us, having stayed up too late with work, takes on the morning routine alone. Or perhaps, we both had late nights, and one of us graciously lets the other sleep in a little longer.
On this particular morning, I can’t recall if one of us was up late or if we both were, but we both found ourselves in a tizzy, bleary-eyed and hurriedly getting ready for the day. I recall being halfway dressed, rummaging through a dresser drawer for a shirt, while my husband rushed past, tugging his undershirt over his head. It struck me how much we’ve changed. Six years ago, that moment might have sparked a playful exchange or a flirty kiss.
Today, like every day, urgency loomed large. We had three kids whose teeth needed brushing, outfits needed assistance getting into, and our youngest needed a diaper change before it turned into an unfortunate situation. Breakfast awaited, hair needed styling, and my husband had to be out the door for work. Meanwhile, I aimed to at least brush my teeth and remove the remnants of yesterday’s mascara before drop-off. It was the familiar race against time.
Our daily lives and interactions have undeniably transformed. I fondly remember walking across campus with my husband during college on a stunning spring morning. The lush ivy adorned the old brick buildings as he escorted me to chemistry class. I vividly recall forgetting a sweater for my strappy dress, knowing how cold the classroom could be. The gentle click of my heels on the cobblestones still echoes in my mind.
Back then, I was the girl who dedicated an hour each morning to blow-drying and curling my hair, donning strappy dresses and heels. I could conquer anything in those heels—be it a physics lab or a sprint across campus. That was who I was when my husband first met me 14 years ago.
Fast forward to today, and that version of myself seems almost like a distant memory. I can’t remember the last time I spent an hour getting ready—perhaps my best friend’s wedding? And even then, it was a mad scramble to iron and drape our saris. Heels? They’re now reserved for special occasions. My wardrobe has shifted to athletic wear and loungewear, serving me well for the daily hustle of motherhood. The thought of trying to wear a dress while bending down to pick up a toddler or clean up Cheerios is laughable.
Putting on jeans for a day off feels like a win. Blow-drying my hair? That must mean I have a special event to attend. While I still take pride in my appearance and strive to be healthy, my priorities have shifted dramatically. The things that once filled my time, like getting ready, have been replaced by school drop-offs, meal prep, work obligations, and the endless cycle of toy pickups and laundry.
It’s intriguing to think about how relationships adapt. As lives change, so too do marriages; it’s fascinating how two people can maintain unity amidst life’s chaos. I sometimes wonder if my husband thinks about the girl he met all those years ago. Does he long for the playful flirty exchanges of our past?
But I already know the answer. What we have now is a treasure far more profound. We are parents to three wonderful children with beautiful souls. They are kind, empathetic, and filled with joy. They are well-loved and well cared for, thriving because of the partnership my husband and I have built together.
While I may no longer be that girl in a sundress and heels, I’m so much more. I’m the reason our fridge is stocked, meals are prepared, and toys have homes. I know where my son left his Batman watch and ensure my daughter has her dance gear ready. I manage appointments, keep our kids dressed and coordinated, and instill the values of strength and love in them.
Do I ever think my husband longs for that girl from 14 years ago? Deep down, I don’t think so. Because I still carry that essence, but I’m also so much more. If tomorrow morning passes without a flirtatious comment, I won’t take it to heart. Life has simply evolved. Our expressions of love have changed, like the seasons of our lives. Just last week, he surprised me by letting me sleep in and taking the kids to school, returning with my favorite coffee. That small gesture was a sweet reminder that while our lives may look different, our bond remains strong.
My husband and I are far from the college kids we once were. We’ve become a resilient team navigating a sea of responsibilities. This is our season, and we are the perfect duo for the job. Underneath it all, we are still two people who love each other deeply and are unwavering in our commitment to our family. One day at a time, with a few shortcuts and frantic moments along the way, we will thrive together.
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Summary
In the whirlwind of daily life, the author reflects on the transformation of both personal identity and marital dynamics over the years. While the carefree college days have given way to busy mornings filled with parenting responsibilities, the love and commitment between partners have deepened. Parenthood has brought new joys and challenges, showcasing the evolution of love through the seasons of life.