When my little ones were toddlers, finding a moment of peace felt impossible. The mere idea of using the restroom without an audience seemed like a fantasy, and a couple of quiet hours in my home appeared unattainable. However, as the years have passed, I’ve found myself with more time to unwind alone. And by “alone time,” I mean genuine, uninterrupted moments at home—no kids, no partner, and no work obligations.
Initially, I felt disoriented during these rare moments of solitude, wandering aimlessly from room to room while humming, “This is not my beautiful life…” But now that my children are older, I’ve mastered the art of savoring my alone time. It may feel like a luxury, but it’s a well-earned treat. Whether you’re new to enjoying time by yourself or just need a refresher, here’s a fun guide to spending an hour alone at home:
- Step inside your house without any children or your partner.
- Pause to ponder that peculiar sound.
- Recognize it as the sound of silence.
- Decide you dislike the silence and blast some music—really loud, like shake-the-walls loud.
- Sing along passionately for about 30 seconds until your throat starts to ache and a headache creeps in.
- Acknowledge that you can’t handle the volume like you used to.
- Switch off the music and collapse onto the couch.
- Reach for the remote.
- Discover the remote isn’t where you left it.
- Search for the remote everywhere, including under the couch cushions and even the fridge, while silently cursing your kids.
- Finally find the remote next to the TV.
- Flop back on the couch and turn on the television.
- Let out a big sigh of relief.
- Start flipping through channels until you suddenly remember you need to pee (even though you just did 20 minutes ago).
- Let out a frustrated sigh as you push yourself off the couch.
- Glance at the clock on your way to the bathroom and estimate how much time you have left before your home becomes a chaotic hub again.
- Use the restroom quickly—with the door wide open!—then hurry back to the couch.
- Mindlessly scroll through the channels before landing on reruns of 90210.
- Drift off while the Beverly Hills High students chant “Donna Martin graduates!”
- Jolt awake, panicking about “wasting time,” and consider doing something productive.
- Debate whether to clean the pantry, organize your closet, or vacuum the minivan.
- Conclude there’s not enough time to finish any of those tasks, so it’s not worth starting.
- Grab your phone instead.
- Scroll through Facebook, liking adorable photos while rolling your eyes at the annoying posts.
- Text your best friend to gossip about those humblebragging status updates.
- Contemplate calling your mom.
- Opt for a shower instead.
- Enjoy the shower until the hot water runs cold.
- Stay in for an extra two minutes, letting the lukewarm water hit your back just because you can.
- Realize you only have five minutes left before the kids return.
- Throw on yesterday’s yoga pants and a somewhat clean shirt.
- Dash around the house tidying up any evidence of your alone time, like an empty coffee mug and candy wrappers.
- Wonder why time alone seems to fly by faster than when the kids are home.
- Reminisce about life before kids and realize you actually miss those little rascals who bring so much noise and chaos.
- Open the door with a smile and welcoming arms, ready to embrace your kids.
For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out this blog post. And if you’re looking for expert advice on fertility, visit Make a Mom. Additionally, March of Dimes is an excellent resource for all things pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Spending time alone can feel strange at first, but with practice, it can become a cherished part of your routine. This lighthearted guide outlines a playful approach to enjoying an hour of solitude at home, from blasting music to reminiscing about life pre-kids.