Hello there! I see you’re approaching the finish line of this incredible journey called pregnancy. Is the glow starting to fade? Do your feet sound like they’re swooshing every time you move due to that lovely water retention? Are strangers stopping you to announce that you look “ready to pop”? If you’re not there yet, don’t fret; you’ll get to that point before any of these so-called labor-inducing tricks actually work.
These are the common suggestions that pop up when you search for ways to kick-start labor. I can relate; I was Google-ing them daily, desperately looking for new ideas. Each time I found the same old ineffective answers, my frustration grew. These ridiculous suggestions—though I still tried them—deserve a reality check.
1. Eggplant Parmigiana
Nice try, eggplant enthusiasts. This seems like a bizarre scheme to get pregnant women to eat more eggplant. Stories abound about women chowing down on this dish and then going into labor. I’m not buying it. Really, internet? I want to give birth, not lay an egg. Fun fact: I skipped this one completely because I didn’t even know what an eggplant was!
2. Acupuncture
I decided to give acupuncture a shot a couple of days past my due date. I asked the practitioner if she could speed things up and naively inquired about how effective it would be. Her response? “I have a 100% success rate. No one stays pregnant forever.” True enough; I didn’t stay pregnant forever.
3. Spicy Foods and Oregano
If you’re not into spicy foods, don’t put yourself through that misery. Even if it works, you might just end up in labor with a side of heartburn. If it doesn’t work, you’ll be left tossing and turning, wondering if you just signed yourself up for a night of digestive discomfort. Spoiler alert: it’s probably just gas.
4. Bouncing on an Exercise Ball
They say bouncing on one of those big balls can help lower the baby. Yeah, right. All it did for me was create a constant urge to pee. I finally understood why they check for amniotic fluid when you think your water has broken!
5. Climbing Stairs
I tried tackling the stairs one at a time, two at a time, and even sat down on them for good measure. My non-scientific, rage-fueled conclusion? I might as well just sit on the stairs the whole time.
6. Twerking
These days, you see cute, pregnant women dancing through labor. I felt like a statue. My hips certainly weren’t lying—they were screaming, “You can’t dance now, with all this added weight!” Plus, good luck twerking when you can’t even walk without leaking!
7. Scrubbing the Floor
Seriously? Did men come up with this nonsense? Sure, let’s get down on our hands and knees to scrub the floors, especially around the toilet. Let’s just hope you can see better when it comes to catching the baby than you do when aiming for the toilet bowl.
8. M&Ms and an Action Movie
This was my secret weapon for getting labor started with my first child at 37 weeks. I thought it would work for my second, but no luck this time around. Maybe it was because the lead actress left the franchise; who knows?
9. Walking
Yes, we get it—moving is beneficial. The theory is that gravity helps move things along. Every time I experienced Braxton Hicks, I’d start walking. And every single time, they’d just stop. Maybe I’m broken. If I get pregnant again, I’ll just use a Segway. Take that, walking!
10. Bumpy Car Ride
Nope. Clearly, these people haven’t ridden with my husband. The bumpy ride gave me motion sickness instead of labor. We had a debate about how someone can make a passenger feel seasick on dry land. I know what that green feeling is, and it’s not labor.
I genuinely hope your experience goes better than mine! Borrowing a bit of wisdom from my acupuncturist: you will absolutely have this baby eventually. It may not be today or tomorrow, but hopefully within the next two weeks. I’d bet on you having that little one within six months for sure!
For more insights, check out our other articles about pregnancy and home insemination over at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re seeking guidance on fertility, Make A Mom is an authority on the subject. Additionally, Drugs.com offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, these labor-inducing methods are often more frustrating than helpful. While it’s important to stay active and engaged during pregnancy, don’t let these myths get you down. Your little one will arrive when they’re ready!