Everything You Need to Know About Pregnancy and Delivery

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Are you expecting a little one and feeling a mix of excitement and nerves? You’re in the right place. Here’s a comprehensive guide that covers everything you should know about pregnancy.

THE FIRST TRIMESTER:

• You may find yourself developing carpal tunnel syndrome from spending too much time searching online about those slight twinges in your pelvic area, wondering if they’re just period cramps or, heaven forbid, pregnancy symptoms. And then, of course, you’ll end up googling “carpal tunnel” and “pregnancy” to see if there’s any connection.
• If you’re trying to conceive, it’s likely you’ll indulge in a glass of wine or a cigarette just days before discovering the exciting news.
• You’ll secretly relish the excuse not to hold in your belly. However, until you start showing, you might just look a bit bloated.
• Transvaginal ultrasounds can feel like a scene out of a sci-fi movie, with their sleek designs and a whole lot of lubrication involved.
• There’s often an unspoken competition between women who experience morning sickness and those who don’t.
• Unless you wear a giant sign announcing your pregnancy, people may assume you’ve had a breast augmentation.
• Hormones can lead to some interesting moments, and you may feel justified if you react strongly when someone takes your parking spot at your favorite donut shop.
• You’ll likely be holding your breath until you reach the end of the First Trimester.

THE SECOND TRIMESTER:

• Prepare to spend a significant amount of time admiring yourself in reflective surfaces, eagerly waiting for your belly to “pop.” Spoiler: you may still just look a bit bloated.
• Hormonal fluctuations will continue to justify your reactions when your partner forgets your favorite ice cream flavor.
• Get ready for some wild dreams—no, not the whimsical kind, but those that might make you want to change your sheets every morning.
• When you first think you feel your baby move, it’s probably just gas.
• During the 20-week ultrasound, every baby looks a little like Voldemort.
• Fantasy about your OBGYN or midwife? Yep, it’s a thing.
• Maternity bras? Not the prettiest undergarments out there.
• A Bellaband can be your best friend.
• Yet another competition arises between those who want to know their baby’s gender and those who choose to wait.
• Be prepared for changes in your nipples, including color and possible leakage.
• You might find yourself being a little gassy throughout the Second Trimester.

THE THIRD TRIMESTER:

• That sugary drink for the gestational diabetes test may make you swear off sweets for a while. If you have the option, opt for the yellow drink!
• Intimacy may start to feel like a challenging game of naked twister.
• Spoiler alert: cocoa butter won’t save you from stretch marks, so don’t waste your cash.
• You might feel less like you’re glowing and more like you’re sweaty from all those hormones.
• Getting up from the couch will require some serious effort, but think of it as training for those trips down the candy aisle at the store.
• Some friends may begin to tire of your belly snapshots on social media.
• You might find yourself purchasing Mozart CDs and beautifully crafted wooden toys while judging parents who let their kids play with plastic toys.
• If your OBGYN checks your cervix during a Braxton Hicks contraction, the urge to kick them may arise. But with your legs in stirrups, it might look more like a clumsy moose on ice.
• Yes, you may feel like a (gassy) beached whale, but you are beautiful.
• Your mucous plug will look quite a bit like your vagina just expelled a giant loogie.
• If you want to go into labor on time, here’s a tip: don’t pack a bag, skip shaving your legs, forgo that pedicure, and definitely avoid wearing clean underwear.

BIRTH:

• At some point, you might feel like you want to die.
• You may also feel an intense urge to blame the person who “did this to you.”
• Expect to scream, kick, and possibly have a few embarrassing moments.
• There will come a time when you’ll realize you can handle this, and you will.
• Pitocin isn’t evil, but it might make things a bit messier.
• You may find yourself ready to negotiate with the anesthesiologist for that much-needed epidural. Remember, you deserve the pain management that works for you.
• If you feel the need to have a long meeting in the bathroom, you’re likely ready to start pushing.
• The phenomenon known as Stockholm Syndrome may kick in, and you might find yourself bonding with someone in the delivery room—just not your partner.
• No amount of perineal massage will ensure you don’t tear, and if you didn’t, well, that’s just unfair.
• Nothing can fully express the relief of finally meeting your baby after all that effort.

And yes, it’s all worth it—even those vivid dreams during the Second Trimester.

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Summary:

This guide offers a lighthearted yet informative overview of the pregnancy journey, from the first trimester’s early symptoms to the intense experience of giving birth. It provides insights into the physical and emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy while encouraging expectant mothers to embrace the journey.