When it comes to parks, playgrounds, zoos, museums, and all those fun activities, the options seem endless for getting kids out and about. But here’s the kicker: I’m not really into any of it. And that’s putting it mildly.
I do make an effort, believe me. However, I’m truly a homebody, and what many consider enjoyable outings often feel like exercises in anxiety and stress for me. Occasionally, I’ll take my kids to a public event (and when I say “fun,” I mean they have a blast while I fake a smile and watch the clock tick away slowly). Most of the time, these outings happen only on weekends when both my partner and I can join or as a reward for special achievements like good grades on tests.
Of course, this comes with a hefty dose of mom guilt. Just the other day, while trying to survive story time at the library, I struck up a conversation with another mom. “Isn’t this the best place?” she gushed, radiating enthusiasm usually reserved for treats or big sales. “Wednesdays are so exciting for Ben and me! We start at the park to let him burn off some energy, then it’s off to toddler music class, followed by lunch at that burger joint with the amazing ball pit. After this, we’re heading to ‘Wacky Wednesday’ at the petting zoo, and tickets are half off!”
“That sounds amazing!” I replied, though internally I was thinking, “That sounds like a nightmare!” I managed to add, “Ben is a lucky kid,” and he truly is—which is why I feel that familiar pang of inadequacy whenever I meet parents like Ben’s mom. Why can’t YOU be that enthusiastic and engaged? my inner critic scolds me (and then hits me with guilt for not buying organic bananas).
But I have to cut myself some slack. I have four kids, while Ben’s mom has just him. Managing activities is a whole different ball game when each child has their own interests. It also complicates time management; there just aren’t enough hours in the day to juggle driving kids to various events, cooking, assisting with homework, and ensuring the house doesn’t resemble a disaster zone. Plus, let’s not even discuss the cost of admission fees for four kids. I’d need to take out a second mortgage, and I’m already stressed about our growing grocery bills (even without the organic bananas).
While my kids may not have a mom who relishes taking them out to every event on the community calendar, they do have a mother who teaches them how to make pancakes, lets them create “goop” with the last of the glue and a ridiculous amount of detergent, and joins them on nature walks to examine anthills. The moments we share at home and the memories we create together are just as meaningful—just different. And when we do venture out to a museum or play mini-golf, it becomes a special occasion rather than just another Wednesday.
Just as people have varied interests—some enjoy fishing, others knitting, and some prefer going commando—there are different types of parents. Some thrive on social activities, while others prefer the comforts of home. And that’s perfectly fine. The reality is, no matter what choice we make, guilt is part of the parenting journey.
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In summary, whether you’re a homebody or a social butterfly, every parenting style has its merits. Embrace your unique approach, and remember that what matters most is the love and memories you create with your children.