You might think you know me. Perhaps you’ve spotted me at the park—I’m the mom sitting on a bench, glued to my phone while my kids swing and climb. You may have seen me at the grocery store, scrolling through my device as my children vie for my attention. I’m that mom in the restaurant, serving food with one hand while tapping away on my phone with the other. You probably label me as “that” mom—the one absorbed by her phone instead of engaging with her kids.
You might wonder what kind of parent prioritizes their phone over their children. You could assume I’m aloof, distracted, or struggling to disconnect from my screen long enough to focus on what my kids are doing or saying. But here’s the perspective you might be missing.
Finding My Escape
When you see me at the park, that’s actually my little escape. We homeschool, which means I spend my entire day interacting with my kids, engaging in lessons, and playing together. The park is one of the rare moments where I can relax, knowing my kids are happily entertained and don’t require my constant oversight. It’s a perfect opportunity for me to catch up with friends or handle work tasks.
Balancing Work and Family
Speaking of work, I haven’t mentioned that I also work from home. I’m a writer, and I love what I do; it gives me the flexibility to homeschool my children. This means that sometimes I need to proofread assignments while they play at the park or respond to emails in the grocery lineup, tuning them out when they ask for something I’ve already declined. Occasionally, I might get a fantastic idea for an article during my kid’s karate class, so yes, I will take a moment to jot it down on my phone.
Maintaining Connections
But there’s more to it than that. Balancing homeschooling and working from home can make it challenging to carve out quality time with adults. So, when you see me on my phone, I might be catching up with old friends on social media because maintaining those connections is vital. I could be texting my husband, ensuring our relationship stays strong and healthy. Maybe I’m making arrangements to visit my grandmother, who is 90; you never know how many more chances you’ll get to see loved ones. Or I could just be sending silly Bitmoji messages to my best friend, which helps me unwind from the daily stresses of my busy life.
Using My Time Wisely
This life I’ve chosen demands organization, so I might use my time at the park to search for time management strategies. I might look up quick and healthy dinner recipes while I’m at the store. When dining out with my kids, I could be checking my calendar to schedule one-on-one outings with them because, despite our daily togetherness, I often miss having dedicated time with each one.
There are days when I’m reviewing our finances, researching exciting field trip locations, or even indulging in a book on my Kindle app while my kids are occupied. My phone serves as a tool that allows me to spend quality time with my children without compromising my sanity or finances. If I were to vow never to use my phone around my kids, I’d hardly be able to connect with the world outside our home or manage my responsibilities as I do.
Understanding the Bigger Picture
You may have seen me and thought I was more engrossed in my phone than in my children. And, to be honest, there might be moments when I am. But you don’t know my story or the stories of other moms you see on their phones. Maybe she just spent hours engaging with her kids. Perhaps she’s doing the work that allows her to be present at home. Maybe she’s simply taking a moment for self-care—the kind we all talk about but find difficult to achieve. I’m sure many moms can relate to this scenario.
A Call for Understanding
So, the next time you see me on my phone, please refrain from worrying or judging my parenting. Everything is just fine. I’m not an unengaged mom, and my kids are not lacking my attention. In fact, they likely appreciate those moments I take for myself just as much as I do. For more insights on parenting and family dynamics, check out some of our other posts on our blog, including intriguing topics about home insemination techniques at this link.
In summary, the image of a mom on her phone while her kids are nearby tells only half the story. Often, that phone is a lifeline, helping her balance work, relationships, and self-care. So, next time you see a mom like me, remember that there’s likely a lot more happening behind the scenes.