Hey there, Mama,
I want to extend my heartfelt apologies. I used to think my child wouldn’t notice the differences around him. I assumed they would simply play together, blissfully unaware of things like wheelchairs, hand-flapping, or speech challenges. But he did notice.
It broke my heart when he pointed and looked concerned at your child flapping her hands. It was a little embarrassing when he hid behind me at the sight of your son’s wheelchair. It’s a complex situation, isn’t it? Even a toddler can see the simplicity of it all—“Mommy, I’m scared.”
This is where it all begins for many of us—the start of misconceptions and fear. We fear what we don’t understand. Why should I expect my toddler to react any differently? He’s just learning.
So here’s my promise to you: I will have conversations about our kids’ differences and similarities. When my child points to your child in the store, I won’t just hush him with quiet words of shame. Instead, I’ll engage him in a dialogue. I’ll highlight both what makes them unique and what connects them.
- “He uses a wheelchair, just like you use your legs. And look, he’s wearing a PAW Patrol shirt! He loves PAW Patrol, just like you!”
- “She flaps her hands when she’s excited, and you clap and laugh. It seems like you both enjoy watching those monkeys!”
- “She has Down syndrome, yet you both enjoy playing soccer.”
- “He has no hair while you have those beautiful curls. And he’s wearing a blue hat, which you adore!”
Those few moments of acknowledging both differences and similarities might feel a bit awkward, but they’ll be worth it. If it helps to eliminate fear and fosters friendships, it’s worth every bit of discomfort. Parenting can be tough, but if it isn’t challenging, we might not be doing it right.
And dear Mama, this isn’t about me feeling virtuous at the end of the day. It’s about ensuring my child doesn’t miss out on the amazing individuals out there. I work with your children regularly, and they teach me daily about kindness, strength, courage, and joy. I don’t want my little guy to miss these incredible experiences, and I want everyone to share in them.
So, come on over. Let’s grab some coffee and watch our kids learn from each other. And who knows? One day, when they’re grown, they may sit down for coffee together too.
If you’re looking for more insights on this journey, check out this blog post for more tips on home insemination here. And for an authoritative resource on at-home insemination kits, visit Make a Mom. You can also find helpful information on pregnancy and IVF at NHS.
Summary
In this heartfelt letter, a mother reflects on her initial misconceptions about children with special needs and vows to have open conversations with her child about differences and similarities. She emphasizes the importance of fostering understanding and friendships among children and invites connection among parents. The piece also includes links to helpful resources about home insemination and pregnancy.