Recently, on our way home from school, my daughter and I stopped by the local drugstore. As we navigated through the card aisle, I suggested, “Why don’t you pick out a card for your cousin’s First Communion while I check out the Mother’s Day cards? We’ll be in and out in no time!”
“Mom, what’s a ‘Communion’?” my eight-year-old asked.
Oh boy. That familiar knot tightened in my stomach—it’s a feeling I dread. I was raised in a devout Christian household, attended church regularly, and participated in all the rites of passage. However, as I grew older, I found myself questioning much of what I was taught and how it was enforced.
When my daughter was born, my husband and I chose not to baptize her. I didn’t believe she was born with original sin, and my husband had no religious inclinations either. This felt like the right decision for our family. Over the years, we’ve enrolled her in various religious summer camps, and I’ve shared knowledge about different beliefs whenever she showed curiosity. Still, religion hasn’t been a significant aspect of our daily lives.
It wasn’t until this recent encounter that the reality of our choices hit me. My daughter’s cousin, my niece, was experiencing a milestone that she wasn’t familiar with. I answered her questions honestly, but it made me reflect. Perhaps it was her age, or maybe she was grasping concepts on a deeper level, but I found myself pondering if I was making the best choices for her.
One thing I realized is that I strive every day to do what’s best for her. Will I ever truly know if I made the right decisions? Perhaps, if she ends up in therapy as an adult! But for now, we’re navigating parenthood on our own terms, figuring things out as we go.
If my daughter ever expresses a desire to explore religion further, to attend church as her cousins do, I would support her wholeheartedly. However, it would need to be her choice, something she genuinely wanted. My greatest fear is imposing beliefs on her, as I experienced growing up, simply because it’s deemed the “right” thing to do. I want her to make decisions based on her own connections and feelings, rather than obligation. If it resonates with her, then it will resonate with me—that’s what matters most.
For more insights on parenting and choices, check out this blog post. If you’re exploring options for family planning, visit Make a Mom, a great authority on the subject. Additionally, you can find valuable information and resources on family planning at WebMD.
In summary, while religion has not played a major role in our family, I remain open to my daughter’s exploration of beliefs in her own way. It’s about encouraging her to find her path and make choices that feel right for her.