When my son was born, we affectionately dubbed him our little “orangehead.” His hair, a vibrant mix of sunlit sand and burnished copper, is nothing short of mesmerizing—like gazing into a tiger’s eye.
However, shortly after his arrival, a college friend with a similar hair color looked down at him and lamented, “He’s got the curse.” My husband and I were taken aback; we had always dreamed of having a child with beautiful red curls. Our friend claimed that his own childhood was filled with teasing because of his hair. We dismissed his comment, thinking it must stem from deeper issues. But as our son grew, we began to understand.
Every time we venture out, strangers are quick to comment on his hair, often saying things like:
- “Wow! Look at that hair!”
- “Hey there, Red.”
- “You’re going to be trouble!”
- “Redheads dance with the devil!”
- “Carrot top! Did you eat a whole bag of carrots?”
While I recognize that these comments come from a place of admiration, my son doesn’t always see it that way. Each remark, though often well-intentioned, can be confusing for him. Although they marvel at his hair, he sometimes hears it as an indicator that he stands out too much, making him feel self-conscious.
To combat this, I took a proactive approach early on. When people would say, “A ginger!” I’d respond with, “Yes, isn’t it beautiful?” and when they joked about him being trouble, I’d clarify, “He’s genuinely a kind and helpful boy.” Most people would quickly get on board and agree, but I still felt like it wasn’t enough.
Unfortunately, positive representations of red-haired boys are scarce. While redheaded girls face their own set of stereotypes, they also enjoy more positive portrayals in media. In contrast, male characters with red hair often play the villain or the fool. Even beloved children’s books feature mean kids with fiery locks.
Then, I stumbled upon a game changer. An issue of ESPN magazine spotlighted Andy Dalton, a quarterback with striking red hair. The cover portrayed him as confident and appealing, highlighting his hair in a manner that was both cool and aspirational. I couldn’t wait to share this with my son.
I casually left the magazine around the house for a week, and eventually, he approached me, asking if I thought Dalton’s hair was handsome. “Absolutely!” I replied. I could see the relief wash over him, a spark of self-confidence lighting up his face.
Thank you, ESPN, for helping shift my son’s perspective!
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In summary, supporting my son in feeling proud of his red hair has been a journey. With the right encouragement and positive representations, I hope to instill a sense of confidence and pride in him as he grows.