Shortly after tying the knot, my partner, Jake, and I decided to expand our family and welcomed the idea of having a baby. As one of the first among my friends to step into this journey, I quickly realized just how little I understood about the entire process. Sure, I grasped the basics, but I had no clue about the hurdles we would encounter while trying to conceive. I once thought it was straightforward: you get intimate, and voilà, a baby. At least, that’s what my health class led me to believe.
For Jake and me, the journey to parenthood turned out to be far more complex and took much longer than we anticipated. The emotional impact of months filled with negative pregnancy tests weighed heavily on both our relationship and my self-esteem.
Being able to express frustrations, share ideas, and even find humor in the absurdities of trying to conceive was essential for keeping my sanity. Here are 14 things that anyone who has been on this path will surely relate to:
- You’re fluent in acronyms. Your DH needs to arrive ASAP so you can BD while your EWCM is optimal and your cervix is HFO. Then, you’ll be stuck in the TWW, counting the moments until you can POAS at 13 DPO, praying for that elusive BFP.
- Cervical fluid expertise. Many might be oblivious to its significance, but you now have a PhD in cervical fluid.
- Willing to try anything. Yes, you’ve resorted to using egg whites when your EWCM wasn’t quite right. What’s the harm?
- Overwhelmed by advice. It’s great that your neighbor’s cousin got pregnant with that trick, but honestly, you’re not interested.
- Cervix awareness. You can sense it rising, softening, and opening even during a dull meeting at work.
- Life is segmented. Your calendar has become divided into two parts: pre-ovulation and the two-week wait. You avoid anything that might be harmful (even that morning coffee) until your period arrives.
- Getting in the mood can be tough. Stress can kill the mood, and the pressure of trying to conceive doesn’t help. You’ve found ways to make it work, often resorting to quickies.
- You cheer every temp spike. “Look at this triphasic pattern on my chart!”
- Bulk shopper. You know where to score deals on ovulation test strips and pregnancy tests. If they had a subscription service, you’d be all in.
- Every little thing is a sign. You get the hiccups—something you rarely experience. Is that a pregnancy symptom? (Time to Google!)
- Every period feels like defeat. Each month, it stings more. Why can’t your body just work as it should?
- Pregnancy announcements can sting. When you’re struggling to conceive, hearing about others’ pregnancies can hit hard, often bringing tears in an instant.
- Exploring all options. You find yourself researching everything from tips to IUI, IVF, fertility testing, and even adoption.
- Your support network is vital. Having a group of friends or family who understand your journey is invaluable. They celebrate the little victories (yay for a clear progesterone surge!) and provide a shoulder to lean on during the tough moments (ugh, a short luteal phase).
The process of trying to conceive isn’t enjoyable for anyone, and for some, the waiting can feel agonizing. Sometimes, getting through the tougher days means finding moments to laugh and appreciate the journey—even if the silver lining is simply getting to know your body better than ever before. For some great insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource at the CDC. And if you’re looking for fertility boosters, consider visiting Make a Mom.
For more detailed information on the challenges of infertility, you may also want to read this post about acronyms.