In the conversation about domestic violence, many people often envision physical harm—slaps, hits, or bruises. However, a powerful new hashtag is shedding light on the less visible, yet equally damaging, aspects of abuse. The hashtag #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou was ignited by writer Zara Taylor on Twitter, who shared a series of hypothetical scenarios that illustrate emotional and verbal abuse. One poignant example states, “Maybe he doesn’t hit you; he just criticizes your body after you’ve had his children.”
As the hashtag gained traction, countless individuals—both men and women—began sharing their own experiences with abusive relationships, revealing a spectrum of harmful behaviors from manipulation to emotional degradation. Many tweets highlighted how abusers undermine their victims’ self-worth, leaving them feeling unworthy of love or trapped in their situations.
This movement isn’t the first of its kind. In 2014, the hashtag #WhyIStayed gained attention following the release of footage showing NFL player Ray Rice assaulting his partner. Although these hashtags originated from different incidents, their underlying goal is the same: to educate the public about the signs of domestic abuse and challenge the culture of victim-blaming that often surrounds these issues.
According to the nonprofit Safe Horizons, one in four women will experience some form of domestic violence in their lifetime, with millions of men also affected. Disturbingly, over three million children witness domestic abuse in their homes every year. I can relate to this, having grown up in an environment marked by such trauma. My father was verbally and physically abusive towards my mother, and although he never directed his violence at us, my siblings and I still bear the scars from witnessing the manipulation and control that unfolded during our childhood. My mother left when I was nine, but the emotional fallout lingered, requiring years of therapy and self-discovery to heal. Many others may not have the same access to support, leaving them trapped in cycles of pain.
The positive takeaway from this conversation is the awareness it raises regarding the various forms abuse can manifest. Survivors need to know they are not alone; abusers often work to isolate their victims and make them feel undeserving of better treatment. By sharing our stories, we can expose the lies perpetuated by abusers and draw strength from a community built on understanding and respect. It’s my hope that these discussions foster real change for those in all forms of abusive situations.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, I encourage you to seek help. You can find resources and support through Safe Horizons, which offers a toll-free hotline and guidance on where to turn for assistance. For more on related topics, check out this blog post we have on home insemination and the community resources available.
Summary: The hashtag #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou has gained popularity on social media, highlighting the emotional and verbal aspects of domestic abuse, which often go unnoticed. It aims to educate the public about various forms of abuse, encourage survivors to share their experiences, and challenge the culture of victim-blaming.