-
Anything Their Dad Says After Bedtime
“I’m about to smash that!” From our son’s room: “You’ll go to time-out if you smash, Daddy!” -
Conversations About Events We’re Not Attending
Wait, we’re not driving two hours to a potluck birthday party where we won’t know a soul and just stand around awkwardly eating hummus? No thanks. -
Tales of Our College Days
“Mom, what’s a keg stand?” “Uh, it’s like a cake on a stand, you know—like a cake stand?” “And a… what’s that you said? Bong?” “It’s a drum, sweetie! A tiny drum thingy… Who wants ice cream?” -
Disagreements About Parenting
Ugh, my partner and I usually see eye to eye on parenting, but sometimes we clash on important issues. I hate that they might think we’re arguing about them. Sorry, kiddos, we’ll do better. -
Gossiping
Promise me you won’t tell your dad what I just said, okay? I’ll even bribe you if I have to. -
My Farting
Nothing is more hilarious—or horrifying—than your mom letting one rip, especially when you’re a 9-year-old boy. -
Sharing Cute/Funny Stories About Their Day
I always feel guilty getting caught gossiping about them, but seriously, GO TO BED SO WE CAN CHAT ABOUT YOU! -
Santa and Mythical Creatures
I try to keep the magic alive while also ensuring they’re not teased for believing in things. My pragmatic 4-year-old recently asked if mermaids were real. I said “Nope!” and then remembered my son was in the room. He was like, “What?! But we saw them at the aquarium!” -
My First Words When My Husband Comes Home
It usually sounds something like, “Chaos. I need a drink. There’s poop everywhere. You’re never leaving again.” -
Topics Like Cremation, Embalming, or Donald Trump
These conversations are tough to explain and often stir real concerns about their future.
These are just a few of the cringe-worthy things my kids have picked up on. Let’s hope they don’t remember too much, especially that one time when my daughter heard us “wrestling” and genuinely thought something scary was happening. Just forget that, sweetie. Trust me.
If you’re interested in learning more about family planning options, this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination might just help. And for a deep dive into the subject, check out our other blog post that discusses the intricacies of insemination. Also, if you’re looking for guidance on your journey, Make a Mom is an authority worth exploring.
Summary:
This article humorously outlines some of the slightly awkward yet relatable things children overhear from their parents. From bedtime conversations to the complexities of parenting, it highlights the funny, cringe-worthy moments that parents hope will fly under the radar.