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- How My Baby Took Over My Body
by Mia Thompson
Updated: May 5, 2016
Originally Published: May 5, 2016
Andor Bujdoso / Shutterstock
I opened my eyes to a dizzying blur. At eight months pregnant, I found myself sprawled on the tile floor of a children’s store during my prenatal class. My legs lay awkwardly in a V shape, adorned in black tights that probably weren’t the best choice for a sweltering July day. Toys surrounded me, scattered haphazardly, remnants of a chaotic scene.
My husband looked worried as he cradled my head in his lap. Our instructor knelt beside me, fanning me with a piece of paper while a few classmates gawked. One fellow expectant mother rushed over, proclaiming, “I know first aid!” as she tried to check my pulse.
I had fainted.
Just moments before, I had felt lightheaded, meaning to ask my husband for a seat but clearly hadn’t acted quickly enough. Thankfully, my baby was unharmed; instinctively, I had avoided landing on my bump, and a nearby stack of toys cushioned my fall, drawing the concerned crowd.
Embarrassment mingled with disorientation. I couldn’t help but wonder what my classmates thought of me. Did they believe I was neglecting my health and my baby? The reality, however, was far more peculiar. For much of my pregnancy, I felt as if my body was no longer my own. At times, it felt as though my baby was draining my very essence.
This sensation began in the first trimester, around seven weeks, when acute morning sickness hit me like a freight train. The nausea turned every day into a struggle, and I often found myself perched over the toilet for what felt like an eternity. After a particularly harrowing 24-hour stretch of relentless vomiting, I needed medical help. A hospital visit, a prescription for anti-nausea medication, and several liters of IV fluids later, I returned home, still feeling miserable.
I attempted to maintain a semblance of normalcy. Getting ready for work each day drained every ounce of energy I had. If I was fortunate, I could manage a few bites of dry toast. On my morning commute, the heat and cramped train conditions left me dizzy and desperate for water. At work, the aroma of spicy food from colleagues’ desks would send me retreating to avoid triggering my nausea. I had once been the most vibrant member of my team, but pregnancy had transformed me into a shadow of my former self.
As night fell, new struggles emerged. Acid reflux plagued my sleep, forcing me to prop myself up with pillows, yet even that wasn’t enough to keep the sickness at bay. As my belly expanded, breathing became a chore. I felt like pregnancy was winning, and my physical appearance mirrored my internal battles. Long showers were a luxury I couldn’t afford, and I abandoned any pretense of makeup or stylish clothing. My outfits were as disheveled as my hair, reflecting how I felt inside.
At 5 feet 4 inches and just under 100 pounds pre-pregnancy, I was petite and barely within the healthy BMI range. My doctor encouraged me to eat well, a daunting task when my favorite foods revolted against me. My belly grew, transforming my body into a stick figure with a massive bump.
So when I fainted on that hot July day, it didn’t feel shocking; it was just more evidence that my baby was taking over my body. I never shared this feeling, fearing it made me sound less maternal. But was my baby truly invading my body? At that time, it genuinely felt that way. I was also gripped by fears about childbirth and motherhood. I had become pregnant sooner than I anticipated, and I wasn’t ready for such a monumental shift in my life. My career was in full swing, and my husband and I had not yet settled into a permanent home. I had expected to have those aspects of my life sorted before welcoming a child. I found myself wrestling with questions about parenting: Would I return to work? How would children change our marriage? Would this baby consume my life as it had my body?
On a warm summer day, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and in that moment, the feeling of invasion vanished as she left my body. The transition was swift, and my world transformed overnight in unanticipated ways.
Postpartum life forced me to reevaluate my priorities. Now, eight months into this new chapter, I spend the limited free time I have outside of caring for my daughter on activities I genuinely enjoy. Writing has become my sanctuary, a form of meditation that allows me to reconnect with my passion. Sharing my experiences with fellow writers has helped me weave storytelling into my busy life. My daughter ignited a long-buried passion within me.
I also reassessed my relationships, gaining newfound appreciation for family dynamics. My mother-in-law’s advice resonates more with me now; I recognize she truly wants the best for her family. Connections with siblings and their children have taken on greater meaning as we plan family gatherings. I realize how important it is for my daughter to grow up surrounded by family.
Now, I often consider how my choices will affect my daughter. I strive to be a positive role model, living a meaningful life. With each decision I make—whether related to my career or how I dress my postpartum body—I ask myself, “What will my daughter think?”
Looking back, I feel a bit foolish for my pregnancy fears. My baby wasn’t depleting me; she was breathing new life into me. She awakened passions long tucked away, shifted my perspective on relationships, and helped me forge a new identity. I’ve never felt more alive.
For those exploring their own journeys into parenthood, resources like WebMD’s guide can provide valuable insights. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination options, you can check out this post. And for comprehensive information on at-home insemination kits, Make a Mom is a fantastic resource.
Summary:
This heartfelt narrative chronicles the struggles and transformations experienced during pregnancy, highlighting the overwhelming feelings of body invasion and loss of self. The author reflects on her journey from the challenges of pregnancy to the joys of motherhood, ultimately discovering new passions and a renewed perspective on life and relationships.