Pregnancy can be a rollercoaster ride. Your emotions are all over the place as your body undergoes a myriad of changes. You find yourself battling feelings of doubt and inadequacy, especially when a well-meaning gas station attendant hands you your morning coffee with a side of guilt about “not supposed to drink that.” And of course, you end up leaving that coffee in the car.
Your day is filled with unsolicited advice and belly rubs while you try to navigate work on zero sleep and zero caffeine. You bite your tongue when someone suggests you’re being a little hormonal.
Finally, it’s time for your doctor’s appointment, and you hope for some empathy and understanding. After all, the person you’re paying to care for you and your baby should treat you with respect (and thankfully, my husband is amazing, so he’s not part of this rant). You sit down and explain that you’ve been experiencing some strange discomfort in your stomach. Instead of concern, you get a dismissive scoff, and he reminds you that being pregnant comes with discomfort. You leave the appointment feeling ashamed for even bringing it up.
At your next visit, he asks how you’re feeling. The pain has intensified, but you’re hesitant to mention it again, fearing further ridicule. After all, he is the doctor, and you worry about the baby. You muster the courage to voice your concerns, only to be met with the assurance that you’ll “know when it’s real labor” and that you’re just pregnant.
On your way home, you convince yourself to keep the pain to yourself. It’s your first pregnancy, and if the doctor isn’t worried, maybe you’re just being overly sensitive. You promise not to mention it again at the next appointment. But as luck would have it, the pain escalates just before your next visit, bringing you to tears. This pain feels unbearable, and you start to wonder if this is labor.
When you explain the agony to the doctor, you’re apprehensive about his response. But finally, he sends you to labor and delivery for monitoring. Unfortunately, despite your pain, you’re told you’re not in labor and that it’s just part of being pregnant. You leave feeling frustrated as your family insists that pregnancy isn’t really that uncomfortable, making you doubt your own experience.
What follows is a cycle of returning to the hospital only to be dismissed time and again. Now, at 40 weeks, you have an OB who refuses to check for dilation and continues to imply that your pain is in your head. You’ve had enough.
You decide to break up with your OB. If you ever feel like the doctor you’re paying to care for you isn’t taking your concerns seriously, it’s time to find someone who will. You deserve compassionate care, regardless of how far along you are.
After requesting to switch within the same health care system and being told you were too far along, you reach out to a competing practice that’s more than willing to help. Two days later, you find yourself back in labor and delivery, still in pain, but this time greeted with kindness and understanding. The new doctor recognizes your distress and assures you he will do everything possible to keep you comfortable.
After a long 26 hours, you finally hold your precious little girl. Later, you end up back at the same hospital for unrelated issues and are diagnosed with serious conditions that your previous OB had dismissed. You can’t help but wish he had taken your concerns seriously.
Breaking up with my OB at 40 weeks was the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s never too late to demand the care you deserve and walk away from those who don’t prioritize your well-being.
You do you, Mama, and forget the rest. If you’re looking for more information about home insemination, be sure to check out this helpful resource on home insemination techniques. And for further insights on pregnancy and related topics, make sure to visit this site. If you’re considering fertility treatments, March of Dimes offers excellent resources.
Summary:
Navigating pregnancy can be challenging, especially when facing dismissive medical professionals. In this heartfelt account, the author shares her experience of feeling unheard and belittled by her OB, ultimately deciding to switch to a more compassionate doctor just before giving birth. This story emphasizes the importance of advocating for oneself and seeking care that truly values your experiences and concerns.