One sunny afternoon, not long ago, I stepped outside to hear the delighted laughter and shouts of neighborhood children playing in our backyard.
“MOM! Can I go play with my friends next door? QUICK! Where did I leave my shoes?” my six-year-old son, Ethan, exclaimed in a hurried breath.
“Sure, they’re wherever you last took them off,” I replied casually.
“But, MOM! I can’t find them!” he panicked. “Can you help me? HURRY! They’re waiting for me. MY FRIENDS ARE WAITING!”
It’s worth noting that his friends were NOT actually waiting for him. They were having a blast, completely unaware that Ethan was even gone. They would certainly embrace him into their playtime, but at that moment, they were perfectly content without him.
Yet in Ethan’s mind, they were eagerly anticipating his arrival, needing him to complete their fun. He radiated confidence—completely assured that he belonged to their circle, that his mere presence would enhance their joy.
After a quick search, we found his shoes, and he dashed outside. Witnessing my son skip across the yard filled my heart with joy; each playful movement reflected pure confidence and unfiltered happiness. As a mother, I was overjoyed, thankful for the kindness of his friends, especially since most of them were a few years older.
However, amidst the warm feelings of maternal pride, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy and awe. I envied Ethan’s self-assurance and was amazed by his unwavering belief that he was accepted. Honestly, I don’t possess that level of confidence at six years old—or even now—and I long for it.
As a child, I was more reserved than Ethan but felt a genuine sense of belonging. Sadly, as I transitioned into adolescence, that innocent confidence began to fade, replaced by a heightened awareness of my insecurities. Questions about my worth crept in: Am I attractive enough? Smart enough? Popular enough?
Do we ever truly outgrow that awkward teenage phase of self-doubt? Do we stop questioning our belonging? Or do we continue to hide behind masks of confidence, trying to fit in while grappling with our vulnerabilities?
In college, I masked my insecurities with party scenes and alcohol, adopting a persona that didn’t reflect who I truly was. In my twenties, I relied on expensive makeup and designer clothes to mask my flaws and fears. Now, I still find myself resorting to various façades, measuring my worth through social media likes or blog statistics.
But I wonder: Is that confident, carefree six-year-old still there, hidden beneath the layers of doubt and fear? If I listen closely, I can almost hear her soft voice saying, “It’s okay; you don’t have to hide. You are amazing just as you are.”
As parents, our challenge is to help our children preserve that pure confidence for as long as possible. We should continually affirm their worth and create a nurturing environment where they feel they belong.
Moreover, we must work on rediscovering that childhood sense of confidence for ourselves, balancing it with the understanding that we all struggle with our own insecurities. We are all, at times, that awkward teenager longing for acceptance.
Perhaps our greatest challenge, both as parents and adults, is to shed our masks, embrace our vulnerabilities, and hold our children’s hands as we skip toward the amazing possibilities that lie ahead.
Then again, maybe you don’t feel like a vulnerable teen with frizzy hair and acne. In that case, neither do I. Just overflowing with confidence over here.
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In summary, the journey of confidence—both in our children and ourselves—is a continuous path. By nurturing our kids and addressing our insecurities, we can embrace a fulfilling life full of belonging and assurance.
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