In the realm of marriage advice, one of the most frequently shared tips is the necessity of carving out time for one another. We come across the significance of “couple time” in various self-help literature and magazine features. We hear from experienced married pairs emphasizing this crucial aspect, and we often catch relationship experts insisting that parenthood shouldn’t overshadow the bond between spouses.
While that’s all valuable advice, what’s often overlooked is that the concept of “making time for your marriage” evolves over the years. Early on, it may have meant lavish weeklong getaways, regular date nights, or lazy Sunday mornings spent in bed. However, as a marriage matures—especially after welcoming children—“making time” transforms entirely. It now demands a blend of flexibility, patience, and an abundance of creativity.
Making time for your marriage can simply be a lingering hug or a playful squeeze in the kitchen. It involves sending dozens of texts and emails throughout the day about mundane topics like grocery lists and soccer schedules, which ultimately allows for deeper conversations when you finally reunite. It’s about sharing a laugh during the first few minutes of a Saturday Night Live episode before one of you inevitably drifts off on the couch.
It can mean trying to finish a thought while being interrupted by your child’s exuberant “Daddy, guess what?!” multiple times, and eventually letting it go with a smile, knowing you can always revisit it later. It’s those stolen moments—like a quickie in the bathroom while the kids are glued to Saturday morning cartoons—that keep the spark alive.
Making time for your marriage means sharing inside jokes that might confuse others, but bring you closer together, even if it drives some people a bit nuts. It encompasses those rare moments in the stillness of early morning, tangled in bed, breathing in sync, moments that are soon interrupted by kids clamoring for breakfast and cartoons.
It means sending silly emoji-filled texts, forwarding cheeky jokes during the day to spark some laughter amid the work hustle, and occasionally sending a risqué snap (using Snapchat, of course, so the kiddos don’t stumble upon it while playing games on your phone). It’s about a brief shoulder rub squeezed in between tucking the kids in and addressing their next urgent need.
Making time for your marriage involves planning the occasional date night with a vow to avoid talking about the kids—only to find yourselves discussing them before you’ve even finished your drinks. It’s the long talks on the drive home from family outings while the kids sleep peacefully in the back.
Sometimes, it’s even about strolling the aisles of Target together on a Friday night, balancing between a desire to check out patio furniture, new sunglasses, and realizing you’re out of milk. It’s about practicing forgiveness—and lots of it—because you’re simply too exhausted to argue about the little things anymore.
Finally, making time for your marriage means dreaming about your future together and reminiscing about your past, even if it gets interrupted by a toddler having an accident on the kitchen floor.
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Summary
Making time for your marriage evolves over the years, especially after children arrive. It’s about finding joy in small moments, maintaining connection through laughter, and being flexible with how love is expressed. Whether it’s quick hugs, inside jokes, or shared tasks, every little effort counts in nurturing the relationship.