Parenting studies can often feel irrelevant and overwhelming. A new report from psychologists at Indiana University suggests that parents who get distracted during playtime—thanks to smartphones or other technology—could be contributing to their children’s shorter attention spans. Seriously? Are we now scrutinizing how often our eyes wander while our kids are playing?
I grew up in the seventies, a time when parenting seemed more carefree. My mom would toss me into the backseat of her car, and I often found myself wedged between the seats, breathing in who-knows-what from our EZ-bake ovens. My dad would chain-smoke while I sat in the back of his Cadillac, and I never once remember them playing with my toys.
Back then, parents didn’t fret over studies telling them how to raise their kids. They didn’t have the internet to remind them of every potential misstep. Sure, we’ve made strides in keeping our kids safer—like understanding the dangers of smoking and proper car safety. But now, it seems like every little decision we make is under a microscope.
Why is this? Are we really trying to create “super kids”? Chen Yu, who led the study, mentions that a child’s ability to focus is linked to future success in language and problem-solving skills. But must we always be so concerned with these findings?
When I first became a parent, I was guilty of overanalyzing everything. I remember reading about how calling children “smart” could backfire. Instead, I tried to praise effort over intelligence. It’s exhausting to think that every word or action could shape our kids’ futures.
And let’s not forget the uproar over sticker charts. Apparently, they could ruin our children’s relationships because they might grow to expect rewards for everything. Seriously?
All this information tends to make us second-guess our instincts. Perhaps it’s not so terrible to occasionally look away from our kids or to use a sticker chart as motivation. Our job as parents isn’t to achieve perfection but to love our children and provide a supportive environment.
Ultimately, if your goal is to create the “perfect” child, feel free to dive into these studies. But for the rest of us, we’d rather not. Our kids are already unique and wonderful just as they are.
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In summary, while parenting studies can be intriguing, they often lead to unnecessary stress and self-doubt. Our primary role as parents is simply to nurture and love our children, allowing them to grow into their own unique selves.