Before I became a parent, germs were the last thing on my mind. If a charming guy showed up at a party sneezing and coughing, I’d still chat with him, maybe even share a drink. If a friend admitted to being sick but felt better and wanted to stop by, I’d give her a warm welcome, perhaps even a kiss on the cheek. And sanitizing the doorknob afterward? That was something only a germaphobe would do.
But then I became a parent, and every time my kids fell ill, I found myself losing a week of sleep and work. If I caught their bug, chaos ensued, and our household was thrown into disarray. Even a simple cold means sleepless nights when you have little ones. Forget about “man colds”; try a toddler cold where your kid can’t breathe through their nose for days and insists on sleeping right on top of you, their snot dripping into your mouth all night long.
I must admit, I will go to great lengths to protect my kids from germs. If I hear that your child has a cold, flu, or any kind of rash, I’m out the door with my kids faster than you can say “germ.” I know it sounds rude, but parenthood has transformed me into a full-blown germaphobe.
A Night of Chaos
Take, for instance, a night a few weeks back. My eldest woke up at 10 p.m., vomiting just as my partner and I were finally enjoying some couch time. He hadn’t been feeling great before bed, and when I heard the first heave, I dashed to his room. He was still in bed, drenched in vomit.
Instantly, I became a drill sergeant. I instructed my partner to get him straight into the shower without touching anything, and to toss any contaminated towels into a trash bag. I tied my hair back, put on latex gloves (yes, I have a stash), and fashioned a makeshift hazmat suit from old clothes. I stripped his bed, bagged everything separately for laundry, and doused any surface that might’ve been touched by vomit with Clorox bleach, even a speck.
As I was knee-deep in this chaos, I had an out-of-body moment and realized how bizarre I had become. Germs are just a part of life, right? Kids getting sick is normal. But now, the thought of germs sends me into a panic.
The Domino Effect
It’s not that I fear for my kids’ lives from some rare disease (though I do get anxious when I hear about new viruses, like the Zika virus—thanks for that). Mostly, it’s just the fact that kids seem to catch every germ within a ten-foot radius, turning our lives upside down each time they fall ill.
Now that I have two kids, there’s also the whole domino effect: one kid gets sick, and then it spreads to the other, and eventually to my partner and me. One bug can wipe out our household for weeks.
That’s pretty much what happened recently when my son brought home a nasty case of hand, foot, and mouth disease (it starts with feeling unwell and sometimes vomiting). A few days later, his face, hands, and feet were dotted with small, blistered spots. And of course, all my cleaning efforts were in vain, as my younger son caught it the following week.
Oh dear. Hand, foot, and mouth disease. If that doesn’t turn you into a germaphobe, I don’t know what will.
Embracing My Germaphobia
I recognize I should probably chill about germs; they’re everywhere, and avoiding them is nearly impossible. Kids get sick all the time. I know trying to control the situation is a losing battle, yet I can’t help but insist my kids wash their hands constantly, use hand sanitizer liberally, and generally freak out about germs.
See? I’ve become a neurotic, full-fledged GERMAPHOBE.
Conclusion
In the end, while I may be a little over the top, I’m just a parent trying to keep my family healthy. For more parenting insights, check out this article on intrauterine insemination and learn more about fertility at Make a Mom. Also, if you want more parenting tips, feel free to explore this blog post.
Summary
Parenthood has transformed me into a germ-obsessed parent, driven by the fear of illness disrupting our lives. With two kids, the risk of spreading germs is higher than ever, often leading to chaos when one gets sick. Despite knowing germs are a part of life, I can’t help but take extreme measures to keep them at bay. Ultimately, I’m just a parent trying to do my best in a world filled with germs.