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Parenting
There’s No Right Way to Grieve a Miscarriage
by Jessica Monroe
April 23, 2023
Reality star Mason Carter opens up about his recent miscarriage in a moving blog post. Mason and his partner, Jake, faced the heartbreaking loss of their twins, and it felt as though Mason’s world had shattered. His heartfelt reflections resonate with anyone who has experienced the sorrow of a miscarriage, serving as a poignant reminder that there is no single way to mourn such a loss.
Mason and Jake conceived through a surrogate and an egg donor. They were overjoyed to learn they were expecting a boy and a girl, with the boy biologically linked to Jake and the girl to Mason. They had chosen names and even bought baby clothes—like any excited parents, they were filled with anticipation for their future.
Mason recalls, “I was soaring: those were truly the happiest weeks of my life. Everything felt vibrant and meaningful. I felt at peace. This was my destiny.” Unfortunately, that blissful reality was all too fleeting.
He vividly describes the moment he learned they had lost their babies. “What really took me by surprise was how intense the emotional impact was. It hit me like a freight train. First, you receive the call. Then, you freeze. Your heart pounds in your ears. You lose your footing and end up sitting on the bed with everything fading to black.”
Mason shares that he immediately called Jake, and together they navigated a whirlwind of emotions. “You want to scream. Anger surges through you. You remember them, say their names, and mourn the life that could have been. You open your eyes, and suddenly, they aren’t here.”
Every parent’s experience with miscarriage is unique, and Mason didn’t anticipate the flood of emotions that followed the loss. “Big guys like me aren’t supposed to break down like this. We’re not meant to cry at work, in the gym, or on the street—yet the tears came without warning.”
Grief is unpredictable and affects everyone differently. There’s no “right” way to cope, and certainly, no one is exempt from the pain. Even successful, towering real estate agents like Mason can find themselves in tears for days or weeks after such a loss.
When I experienced a miscarriage with what would have been our third child, I too was unprepared for the onslaught of emotions. The guilt I felt for my two living children was profound. We hadn’t told them about their new sibling, and I felt an intense sadness that they missed out on the joy of anticipation. Initially, I was relieved they didn’t have to experience the loss, but then I mourned the moments of happiness that would never be shared.
While these feelings caught me off guard, I allowed myself to embrace them. I didn’t chastise myself for feeling grief. That was about a year and a half ago, and although I still have my moments, I attribute my healing to allowing myself to feel everything without judgement.
Ultimately, Mason reflects that despite still feeling broken, the experience has strengthened his bond with Jake, revealing unexpected beauty in their struggle. Every parent who has faced loss can relate to his sentiments. We wish Mason and Jake all the best as they navigate this difficult journey.
For more insights on navigating challenges like miscarriage, you might find our other blog post on intracervicalinsemination.com helpful. Additionally, Make a Mom is a great resource for those interested in home insemination options. You can also check out the Genetics and IVF Institute, which offers excellent information on pregnancy and related topics.
Summary
Mason Carter shares the profound emotional impact of losing his twins in a miscarriage, emphasizing that there’s no right way to grieve such a loss. His reflections highlight the unpredictability of grief and the importance of allowing oneself to feel and process emotions without judgement. Ultimately, he finds strength in his bond with his partner, Jake, and acknowledges the beauty that can emerge from pain.