The weather has been absolutely delightful this week. Warm temperatures and clear blue skies have drawn us outside, shaking off the last remnants of winter. What better place to savor the early spring than the park?
Taking four teenagers to the park is a far cry from our outings years ago. Back then, we had just two teens. My eldest just turned 20, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around that fact. My youngest is a wonderfully dramatic 12-year-old, but thankfully, there were no diaper bags to haul or snacks to pack. There was no fussing with car seats or remembering favorite toys. We simply decided to go and off we went.
However, once we arrived, I found myself at a loss. I no longer needed to hover over my kids to ensure they didn’t hurt themselves, one another, or unsuspecting bystanders. My attention wasn’t being pulled in multiple directions. I didn’t need to assist anyone on the slide or give pushes on the swings. Instead, I found myself sitting on a park bench, looking a bit bewildered.
When my children were younger, park visits were more challenging. I always envisioned them as a relaxing escape, a chance to unwind and enjoy. However, they often turned into a whirlwind of heightened awareness and guilt as my kids said things that were too personal or awkward in front of strangers. Like that one time my son told a nearby couple, “I saw my baby brother come out of my mom’s butt! It was soooo gross!”
But what really tested my patience were the frequent calls of “Hey, Mom! Look at this!” My oldest would shout those words no less than 47 times during our park visits—from the top of the slide, the edge of the monkey bars, and right in front of me. As the oldest of four, he craved attention that I sometimes struggled to give, often preoccupied with messy diapers and hungry little ones.
Yet, those pleas for my undivided attention often annoyed me in ways I probably shouldn’t have been annoyed. When a small child asks you to “watch this,” there’s about a 95% chance what follows won’t be particularly remarkable.
My son’s “look at this” moments usually led to a clumsy hop on one foot, an impressively slow run, or just a silly face. Sometimes it was merely his way of smiling at me, an attempt to draw me into his world, a desire for connection, for me to truly see him beyond the dazed expression that often accompanies an exhausted mom.
“Are you watching, Mom?” he’d check, ensuring he had my full attention before attempting whatever mundane stunt he had planned.
“I’m watching, buddy. Go ahead.”
So I’d watch, even when his bunny hops and sand-digging antics didn’t quite impress me. But that’s what we mothers do—we watch from park benches, even when it’s tough to muster the energy.
This week at the park, not once did my oldest shout to me, “Look at this!” Perhaps that’s why I felt so adrift, uncertain of my role.
He’s heading off to the Army in just 13 days.
Sitting beside me on the bench, he didn’t say much. Yet, I could almost hear him whispering. As he prepares to leave the nest, he softly says, “Hey, Mom, watch this,” right before he spreads his wings and soars away—strong, capable, and beautiful. This time, what lies ahead is truly impressive, and I can hardly bear to watch, but it’s absolutely worth it.
“I’m watching, buddy. Go ahead…”
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In summary, the experience of taking older children to the park can feel disorienting compared to the past. As they grow and prepare for new adventures, it’s important to cherish these moments of connection, even when they change.