You may have come across various essays debating motherhood and feminism on social media. Many of those writers are not mothers, so let me share my perspective as a proud Supermom!
I want to be the kind of mom who actively participates in my children’s lives, and that’s perfectly acceptable. My role as a mother doesn’t mean I’m missing out just because I also work. We Supermoms can juggle it all! We brew coffee, prepare breakfast for the kids, get them dressed, take a quick sip of lukewarm coffee, hop in the shower, and then dive back into the chaos. We change diapers, reheat our coffee (again), apply makeup, and sometimes chase after a naked child to get them ready. We literally sip cold coffee, throw in a load of laundry, and manage to get toothpaste on our shirt—only to change it before heading out. Amidst all this, we also pack lunches, have a spoonful of Nutella, dry our hair, and get the kids to the car, while our partners enjoy a hot cup of coffee (which we made) while relaxing in the bathroom with the morning news.
I’m fortunate to have a supportive partner, Tom, who helps out a lot. He respects my choices and I do the same for him. However, I realized just how much he contributes when he recently had to take a break due to a sports injury. For the first month after his achilles tendon injury, I was managing everything—cooking, cleaning, laundry, and bedtime routines—after a long day at work with a 45-minute commute. His absence made me feel the weight of those responsibilities even more.
“The man is to be the provider, protector, and leader of his family.” But what happens when he can’t be? Many mothers, especially single moms, embody both roles daily. Take my friend Sarah, for instance. She’s been the sole head of her household for years while her husband serves in the military. She fixes things around the house, sets up Christmas toys alone, and handles all the household tasks. She is a Supermom!
I also know a coworker, Mia, who became a mother at a young age and raised her two kids on her own. She worked tirelessly, cared for her children in the evenings, and earned her bachelor’s degree online. Then she went on to get her master’s. Supermom, indeed!
“It’s perfectly fine to enjoy cooking and caring for your husband and children,” I often remind myself.
I have countless examples of Supermoms in my life—my mother, my mother-in-law, my grandmother, my sisters-in-law, and my friends. They balance being both working and stay-at-home moms. Most have taken their husbands’ last names, but a few haven’t. They coach soccer, grill delicious meals, perform surgeries, bake treats, volunteer, and prioritize their families. They do the very best they can, even with limited choices.
Sure, there’s pressure associated with these roles, and I often wonder why some feminists might shy away from it. It’s because we Supermoms want it all. I take pride in my daily job and love publishing my work. I cherish moments at the park with my kids, enjoy cooking warm meals for my family, and relish dance parties in the living room.
Just the other day, my 3-year-old asked which Power Ranger was the leader. I told him that leadership can be shared, and my 5-year-old chimed in, “Just like you and Daddy.” Yes! I want my boys to see men and women as equals. I want them to understand that a woman can be their doctor or even the next president, just as much as a man can. I love that they see their dad helping out with chores and caring for them. We’ve come a long way from the past, and I am grateful for the choices I can make every day. My life—and my children’s lives—are enriched because of it.
Summary:
In this reflective piece, I share my experiences as a Supermom, balancing work and family life while embracing the joys and challenges of motherhood. The narrative highlights the resilience of mothers, both partnered and single, and emphasizes the importance of equality in family roles. It celebrates the notion that it’s okay to love cooking and caring for one’s family while also pursuing personal passions and professional goals.