I used to be a huge fan of the show What Not to Wear on TLC. I’d catch reruns whenever I could, eagerly waiting for the big makeover reveal. I learned all about what styles flatter different body shapes (spoiler: it’s always straight leg jeans and a blazer). While I’m no fashion guru, I certainly felt more put together than the women featured on the show, so I enjoyed critiquing their looks.
The typical subject was often a frazzled stay-at-home mom who put everyone else’s needs before her own, and I never understood why they resisted the makeovers. Free style advice and $5,000 worth of new clothes? Sign me up! Dress me however you like, Clinton and Stacy—you’re the experts!
Now that I find myself in the same boat as those moms, my perspective has shifted. No, Clinton and Stacy, you don’t know better than me. I totally get why these women were upset about ditching their sweatpants. Let’s be real—keeping up with small children is no fashion parade; it’s more like a chaotic circus—sometimes with actual messes involved.
When it comes to hair and makeup, Carmindy, the show’s makeup artist, taught women how to achieve a “5 Minute Face.” She should try mastering the “5 Second Face” instead. Has she ever attempted to secure five minutes at the bathroom mirror while little ones are tearing through the house, opening cabinets, and swiping at every lipstick they can find? Five minutes can spell disaster when toddlers are involved, trust me.
At least Nick, the hairstylist, often left some length for a ponytail. I tried chopping my hair into a cute bob once, thinking it would inspire me to style it daily, but that backfired.
While Stacy, Clinton, and their team may be traditional fashion experts, I am a practical fashionista. I have perfected a wardrobe of sensible, budget-friendly clothing for my daily life. I prefer to label myself a Practical Mom instead of frumpy. I may be in shape and wear form-fitting yoga pants, but I can’t quite reach the status of a Sexy Yoga Mom. I don’t show enough skin in the right places, and my “effortlessly messy” ponytail is really just messy.
So, I’ve embraced my title as Practical Mom, and I refuse to run errands or take my kids to the playground in straight leg jeans, a blazer, and ballet flats, as Clinton and Stacy would recommend. To me, that’s date night attire!
What these fashion experts fail to realize is that my clothing choices are as meticulously planned as a designer gown, but they’re intentionally unremarkable. My running shoes offer the support I need for pushing a double stroller, sprinting after toddlers, and enduring hours of cooking and cleaning.
My yoga pants allow me to bend down to pick up toys, hoist kids into my arms, and even crawl around for playtime. My casual tee from the local shop means I can unhesitatingly serve spaghetti with red sauce (their favorite), scoop them up when they’re sticky, and let them snuggle their messy noses into my shoulder.
Going without makeup and letting my hair remain untamed saves me precious minutes in my daily routine, giving me a little more time to actually get out of the house. And let’s not even discuss the actual shaving, okay?
I admire the women who prioritize their beauty routines—whether it’s by choice or necessity. I’m not claiming to be better, nor do I think they’re superior to me. My clothing choices stem from confidence, not a desire to hide like some participants on What Not to Wear. One of the joys of staying home is skipping the morning rush to get ready. I choose to wake when my kids do and forgo a daily beauty regimen.
Sure, I enjoy looking nice, and I make an effort for special occasions, family dinners, and nights away from the kids. But for my everyday errands, where my major interaction is chit-chatting with my favorite cashier at the local shop, I’m content in my Practical Mom attire.
I fully understand that clothes send a message about the wearer, and the message I’m sending is, “Back off, Clinton and Stacy,” along with, “Thanks, Janelle. See you tomorrow!”
For more insights on parenting and personal experiences, check out this other blog post on home insemination.
In summary, embracing the role of a Practical Mom means choosing comfort and functionality over traditional fashion standards. It’s about feeling confident in my choices while navigating the beautiful chaos of motherhood.