All moms seem to have a variety of internal voices, and some can be quite critical. You know the one I mean—the nagging voice that questions whether my children are truly out of control or devises harsh consequences, like tossing aside a beloved toy (which, of course, I could never actually do). My “mean-mom” voice often shouts, “Just calm down already!” With three little ones—ages 5, 3, and almost 1—this phrase is a regular in my daily life. Toddlers are like little balls of energy bouncing around the house. While their enthusiasm can be delightful, it often escalates into overwhelming emotions. I find myself mentally urging them to settle down several times a day.
Can I actually get some rest? What about now? The sun is up! Don’t we need to prepare for that exciting outing we have planned? No, I’ve barely slept all night with the baby, and our fun activity isn’t until after lunch. Please, can you just chill out and go back to sleep?
Two of them come racing toward me, their words spilling out in a rush. Each child is eager to share their version of a story, trying to outshout the other. Their sentences blur together, and the noise is like a swarm of bees buzzing in my brain. I find myself mentally chanting, “Calm down, calm down, calm down.”
One is constructing with Legos, while the other plays with a Barbie. They’re meant to be enjoying themselves. Then, a piece doesn’t fit, and suddenly, playtime spirals into chaos. Arms cross, feet stomp, tears flow, and toys are flung. I understand the frustration, but if only they could just calm down for a moment, the issues could be resolved easily.
“You were naughty. Now, there will be a consequence.” A mere three minutes in time-out shouldn’t require such a dramatic reaction. Your face is turning red, tears are streaming, and you’re even trying to take off your clothes. Really, just three minutes? Can you please calm down?
It’s just mashed potatoes, not some vile concoction. You love French fries, so why the theatrics? Are you genuinely pretending to gag, accompanied by cries? This is too much drama at dinner. I need you to settle down and eat.
Grocery shopping was going smoothly until one simple “no” transformed everything. I can feel my face heating up as onlookers notice the rising volume of your screams. I brace myself for the impending tantrum, complete with you throwing yourself onto the floor. My mean-mom voice is pleading for you to please just calm down.
Yes, I even resort to this with the baby. It’s 3:30 a.m., and he’s crying again. I watch the clock, counting the minutes until my alarm goes off. He’s arching his back and wailing. The other two will surely wake up soon. He’s been fed, burped, and changed. There are no new teeth on the way, and he isn’t sick. My body is fighting exhaustion. Sweetheart, you’re so cute, but it’s time to calm down.
Fortunately, I’ve managed to hold back from expressing these thoughts aloud. Instead, I take a deep breath and focus on addressing the situation. Perhaps this inner dialogue isn’t directed at my kids after all; it’s more of a reminder for myself to calm down, as this phase will pass. Children experience emotions like flipping a switch. If I can stay composed, give them a moment, they’ll be back to smiling—at least until the next round.
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Summary
Navigating the chaotic world of toddlers can be overwhelming for parents. Balancing their high energy and emotional outbursts requires patience and understanding. In moments of chaos, it’s essential for parents to remind themselves to calm down, as these challenging phases are temporary.