The intricacies of a mother’s sex drive have puzzled researchers—and her enthusiastic partners—ever since the earliest humans roamed the Earth. Thankfully, modern studies have shed light on the five distinct stages of a contemporary mother’s sexual desire as she navigates through various life changes.
1. Pre-Motherhood Phase
This initial stage, which can be thought of as the Honeymoon Phase, typically occurs between Third Dates and Pre-Children years. It’s characterized by spontaneous urges and a fascination with romantic themes, from The Kama Sutra to the latest blockbuster films. In this time, the excitement is palpable: “Wow, I want you right now!”
Tools of the Trade: handcuffs, scented oils, and enticing outfits from your favorite lingerie store.
2. Aspiring Mother Stage
As women transition into Cohabitation or Marriage, spontaneity takes a backseat. This phase is marked by scheduling intimacy with a new urgency. The language of desire shifts from casual flirtation to focused urgency: “I’m ovulating! LET’S DO IT! RIGHT NOW!”
Tools of the Trade: ovulation tests and a calendar marked with “TONIGHT!” every month.
3. ‘You Must Be Joking!’ Mom
In the early days of motherhood, often referred to as the Ice Age, new moms may find their sex drive frozen, unsure of when—or if—they’ll be ready to engage again. Attempts to rekindle intimacy are often met with disbelief and a joking suggestion to “go whittle your spear.” The duration of this phase varies widely, with some claiming it lasts just a few months, while others say it stretches until the child finishes their education. Interestingly, support from partners who share baby duties can help thaw the ice more quickly.
Tools of the Trade: personal lubricant for comfort and a collection of adult entertainment.
4. Exhausted Mom
As fatigue sets in, this stage is often a time of fading memories of sexual desire. New moms may only dream of uninterrupted sleep, which becomes the new, ultimate turn-on.
Tools of the Trade: earplugs and sleep masks become essential for any hope of relaxation.
5. Digital Mom
With the advent of DVRs and the ability to queue up children’s shows on streaming platforms, a new world opens up. Suddenly, moms find pockets of time (often around 24 minutes) where they are not juggling small children, leading to a resurgence of sexual interest. Some researchers argue that this newfound freedom may even lead to the conception of siblings!
Tools of the Trade: a tablet or TV, a video-on-demand subscription, and a lock on the bedroom door.
Which stage resonates with you? For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource or visit Make a Mom for guidance on your journey. And for those interested in further reading, don’t miss this post for additional tips and insights.
In summary, understanding the evolution of a mother’s sex drive can be both humorous and eye-opening. As women transition through these phases, their desires adapt to the demands of motherhood, making it a unique and often unpredictable journey.