In the past couple of weeks, I’ve found myself feeling overwhelmed by motherhood. Each time my little one asks for another glass of juice, I can feel my patience wearing thin. When my 4-year-old begs me to join him in a game of superheroes, I find myself slumping on the couch, scrolling through my phone just to escape the routine. And when my older son comes home from school in a bad mood, I struggle to keep my cool, often raising my voice over the smallest issues.
I’ve spent some time reflecting on why I’ve been feeling this way. Is it the lack of sunlight during this dreary winter? The developmental phases my kids are going through? Or perhaps the sleepless nights caused by coughs and colds? Most likely, it’s a mix of all these factors.
However, I’ve come to realize that a significant part of my stress stems from the fact that my partner has been working late hours quite often lately, leaving me to manage the demands of parenting almost entirely on my own for long stretches of time.
I am very aware of how fortunate I am to have a partner who is usually home at a reasonable hour. My mother was a single parent, and I vividly remember how exhausted she was after a long day at work, only to come home and juggle our antics. I’m not trying to compare my situation to that of a single mother or someone whose partner is consistently absent. Yet, I believe that no matter the circumstances, parenting shouldn’t be a solo endeavor for days on end.
My partner is a teacher, waking up at 5 a.m. to get to school before his students arrive. From dawn until he returns, it’s just me managing the kids. My older son is at elementary school for about six hours, so my attention is mainly on my 4-year-old throughout the day. In total, I’m responsible for my kids for about 10 to 14 hours daily, depending on how late my partner is working.
That adds up to as much as 70 hours of childcare each week. It’s 15 meals (half of which are rejected), five mornings of getting cranky kids out the door, five after-school meltdowns, countless snacks, and an uncountable number of messes to clean up. Not to mention the endless tears—both theirs and mine.
Let me clarify: I love my children deeply. I’ve chosen to stay home with them for years, despite it being the toughest job I’ve ever had. They’re bright, engaging, and teach me daily about love and compassion.
While I do get to break the monotony occasionally by hanging out with friends, coordinating schedules can be tricky. My mother is able to help out a few hours each week, but that usually gives me just enough time to run errands. Finding affordable babysitters is tough, and with only one of us working full time, we can’t really afford outside childcare.
Regardless of how my days play out, it’s the sheer weight of the responsibility that drains me—knowing that my kids’ happiness and well-being rests solely on my shoulders. By 4 p.m., I feel completely drained. And when my partner isn’t home by the dinner and bedtime rush, those feelings of desperation creep in, overshadowing the little joys of being a parent.
It doesn’t seem right that parenting should be this way. We should be living in closer-knit communities where childcare is a shared experience, with friends and family pitching in to lighten the load. Those who work outside the home should have the option to reduce their hours and be more involved in daily parenting tasks.
For many, reducing work hours is economically unrealistic—I know it is for my partner. However, in a country that claims to value family, we should see more flexible work schedules and a stronger emphasis on family time. Plus, there should be more affordable, high-quality childcare available, similar to what is offered in many developed nations.
I can’t change the world on my own (and certainly not with my limited time!), but it’s worth noting that it’s frustrating how things are. The challenges of parenting can sometimes feel isolating, and there are systemic issues that contribute to the overwhelm many of us face. We all deserve more support, connection, and a better family life.
As for me, I’ve decided it’s time to prioritize my own well-being. If I don’t take care of myself, how can I care for my kids? I plan to reach out more for friendship and support. I’ll carve out time for self-care, even if it means letting my kids have a bit more screen time so I can enjoy a long shower.
Most importantly, I’m reminding myself that I can only do my best within the reality of my life right now—and that this too shall pass.
If you’re interested in related topics, check out other posts we have, such as this one on home insemination, to learn more about parenting challenges.
In summary, parenting can be overwhelmingly isolating, especially when faced with the weight of responsibility alone. It’s essential to prioritize self-care and seek support from friends and family to navigate these challenging times.