As new parents, we quickly learn that our most valuable resources are time and money, not to mention the weight of unrealistic expectations. When we finally arrange for a night out, the preparation and travel can feel overwhelming. We’re left worrying about our little one—will they be hungry, neglected, or crying into their favorite stuffed animal while a party-loving babysitter enjoys their vodka?
Let’s be honest; sometimes, we’d rather just relax at home, binge-watching our favorite shows or taking silly quizzes like “What breed of dog are you?” while keeping an eye on the baby monitor. Yet, there’s always someone encouraging us: “You guys, go out and have fun! It’s a rare chance to let loose!”
My partner and I hardly ventured out before our baby turned one, but once we hit that milestone, we decided to dive back into the world of elaborate date nights. We yearned for everything we had missed: dining at fancy restaurants with real napkins, enjoying live music (the kind where you can actually dance, not just listen to “Wheels on the Bus”), and dressing up in clothes that didn’t have easy access for breastfeeding. We even splurged on a night at a luxurious hotel.
But every time we tried to embrace this pre-baby lifestyle, something felt off. I found myself calculating the cost of dinner in terms of baby supplies—like, “This tuna tartare costs the same as two packs of baby wipes!” Concerts were too loud, and instead of dancing, I just wanted to snooze. At one event, I even wondered if I could sneak behind the bar for a quick nap. (Spoiler: I didn’t.)
The morning after these outings often came with hangovers, financial regret, and the nagging feeling that I had let down my child, my partner, and even my former self. Did I really age ten years in just one?
After months of being in “parent mode,” it takes time to adjust back to the hustle and bustle of nightlife. The same goes for tolerance to noise and drinks. Plus, that hyper-awareness we develop as parents doesn’t just disappear; it can make a night out feel like an exercise in anxiety.
I’ve since discovered that there are gentler ways to unwind that don’t involve the chaos of fancy outings. Simple pleasures like evening strolls, cozy movie nights, or visits to a local tiki bar can be just as fulfilling. Sometimes, taking it slow is exactly what we need—baby steps, right?
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In summary, elaborate date nights can sometimes feel more stressful than enjoyable for new parents. Embracing simpler, more comforting ways to connect may be the key to finding balance.