How would it feel if someone asked, “Is your other child normal?” This question was directed at me, and before I share my response, let’s first consider what “normal” really means. According to the Oxford Dictionaries, “normal” refers to something that conforms to a standard, typical or expected. In this context, the stranger seemed to suggest that my son didn’t fit the mold of what a typical 7-year-old should be.
To me, my son is anything but ordinary. He’s unique, and that makes me incredibly proud. I cherish his individuality, how he navigates the world in his own way, at his own speed, and how he embraces his differences without a care for societal norms. I find joy in his expressions of excitement, whether it’s flapping his hands, making cheerful sounds, or spinning around in delight. Watching him create his own culinary concoctions, like pizza with custard or yogurt with mashed potatoes, brings a smile to my face. His preference for observing elevator doors or delighting in hand dryers in public restrooms over typical toys is refreshing.
He embodies all the traits of a lively 7-year-old—he gets bored during shopping trips, thinks he knows better than I do at times, and is full of energy. He has brown hair, hazel eyes, and shares a love for technology. He’s an average height and weight for his age, even down to his shoe size.
So, why did this stranger feel compelled to ask me about my other child’s ‘normalcy’? She saw my son’s differences—his challenges with speech, balance, and unique mannerisms and vocalizations. Her question seemed to suggest that I should feel sorrow for having such a distinct child, or that I ought to be disheartened by the support he still needs at 7 years old.
I choose not to judge that stranger. I recognize that I once shared similar feelings of heartache for things my son couldn’t do. I spent years pushing him in a wheelchair and longing to hear his voice. But my perspective has shifted. I now see my son as beautiful and wonderful. He is normal, just as his sister is.
The dictionary defines normal as conforming to a standard. If we view the standard as simply being human, then everyone is normal in their own right. So, when the stranger asked her question, I simply smiled and replied, “Yes. I’m blessed with two amazing children. Thank you!”
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In summary, redefining what “normal” means when you have a child with special needs can be a journey. Embracing your child’s uniqueness and viewing them through a lens of love and pride can transform how you perceive their place in the world.