After welcoming a new baby, it’s generally suggested to wait six weeks before returning to any form of intimacy that involves inserting objects into your body. Some may triumphantly wait just two weeks, while others might lose track of time altogether. Between hormonal shifts, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and sheer exhaustion, it can feel like the doors to the “candy shop” have closed. If you’re not in the mood for intimacy, that’s completely valid. However, if you’re feeling hindered by little ones sleeping nearby, don’t worry—you can still enjoy intimacy just like before.
Having intimate moments with kids in the house is akin to sneaking around at a relative’s place. You can make it work and enjoy it, but you’ll need to follow a few guidelines.
1. Stay Quiet
In your college days, you may have celebrated every moment with enthusiastic sounds and playful directions. Now, sharing a home with kids transforms everything. Think of it like being at your in-laws’ house—where every creak makes you paranoid. When engaging in intimacy, keep the volume down. No loud noises, and all communication should be discreet whispers. To avoid any awkward post-intimacy moments, consider leaving your clothing in a strategic place that’s easy to find.
2. Be Prepared
It pays to be the ultimate planner when it comes to intimacy. Before you begin, gather everything you might need—lubricants, protection, and any other essentials for a pleasurable experience. Ensure the bathroom light is on to avoid waking up your little one, and don’t forget the toilet paper. Lock the door, even if you think your kids can’t open it yet. Make sure your pets are settled to prevent any interruptions from their playful antics.
3. Get Creative
If your child is still a baby, your options are virtually limitless. With a non-mobile baby, you can take advantage of various surfaces in your home without interruption. However, once your kids start walking, you’ll need to be more strategic about where you indulge in intimacy. Rooms with locks become your best friends.
4. Keep It Regular
While there’s no pressure to engage in intimacy, remember that as individuals, you still have needs and desires. Intimacy is crucial for maintaining your connection as a couple and to remind you that you’re more than just “Mom” and “Dad.” Don’t hesitate to explore intimacy, even if you’re feeling indifferent—it can reignite your passion.
5. Handle Awkward Moments
In the event of an unexpected interruption, have a few go-to explanations ready. Whether it’s a quick “Mommy and Daddy are busy” or “we’re just hugging,” keep it simple. Your preschooler will likely accept your words without too much probing.
6. Clean Up Afterward
Dispose of any evidence thoughtfully. Items like lubricants and toys should be stashed safely out of children’s reach. Consider investing in a discreet storage box for your essentials, making sure to secure all wrappers and other materials so that curious little hands don’t find them.
Intimacy is still very much possible, even if you have to be quieter and perhaps a bit more organized. Remember that intimacy offers not just physical pleasure but also emotional connection, reminding you that you’re individuals with needs beyond parenting.
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In summary, intimacy as new parents is challenging but entirely doable with the right mindset and preparation.