Parenting
By Jenna Thompson
Updated: November 14, 2023
Originally Published: March 30, 2016
I feel incredibly fortunate to have two wonderful daughters, my youngest just over a month old. They truly brighten my life, and I cherish them more than anything. They’re my greatest achievements.
But right now, it’s 2 a.m., and I’ve spent the last two hours trying to soothe my little one back to sleep. This is my new reality. In these quiet, dark hours when it’s just me and my wailing baby, I reflect on how challenging this journey can be, even if my social media posts don’t reveal that struggle.
It’s easy to assume that parenting is a breeze, but the truth is that managing two young children alongside two self-employed parents is anything but simple. I often find myself questioning why I can’t seem to do it all perfectly, reminding myself that nobody truly can, no matter how it appears.
So here’s what I want to share:
When you see me looking put-together at an event…
My newborn interrupted my shower, crying for most of the time I was in there. It was the worst shower ever. She continued to cry while I attempted to apply makeup for just five minutes, trying to mask how exhausted I truly am. I may have shed a few tears myself.
When you ask how I manage to work with a newborn and a toddler at home…
Honestly, there are times I wish I didn’t have to. The pressure is immense, and I often feel overwhelmed, longing for a moment to pause life and escape the guilt of not being the perfect mom who balances everything so effortlessly.
When you inquire if my newborn is a ‘good baby’…
Sometimes I want to say “no.” In my sleep-deprived haze, I misinterpret her cries for help as being “bad.” I struggle under the weight of being everything to her, forgetting that it’s impossible for her to be anything but a baby.
When you ask if my 2-year-old likes her new sister…
She adores her, but right now, it’s me she seems to be struggling with. Her dad has taken over most of the school runs and birthday parties while I recover from my C-section. I can’t help but worry if she’ll be disappointed when I take back those responsibilities.
When you ask how I do it all…
The truth is, I don’t—not even close. My house is a complete mess. I haven’t set foot in a grocery store for over a month (thank goodness for delivery services). I’ve missed meetings and photoshoots, and my inbox is overflowing. My hair? Well, let’s just say it’s a lost cause, even dry shampoo can’t save it.
When you ask how breastfeeding is going and I say, “Great!”…
What I really want to say is that I had no idea how demanding exclusive breastfeeding would be. I couldn’t do it with my first child, and while I’m grateful it’s working out this time, it confines me to home. I can’t be away for more than two hours since I’m the only one who can feed her. I’ve never felt this exhausted, and sometimes I dream of just giving up and moving on.
So, you see, these are all realities of my life. Would I change any of it? Absolutely not. Life is meant to be messy, chaotic, and beautifully imperfect. If we wished those challenges away, we’d be left with nothing but an illusion of perfection.
And in the light of day, I once again realize that perfection isn’t what I want either.
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Summary:
The article explores the raw and often unspoken realities of parenting a newborn and a toddler. It shares candid thoughts on the struggles of motherhood, including the challenges of maintaining a work-life balance, managing expectations, and the emotional toll of caring for young children. Ultimately, it emphasizes the beauty in embracing the messiness of life rather than striving for perfection.